IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER - by Erma Bombeck
I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.
I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.
I would have talked less and listened more.
I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.
I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.
I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.
I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.
I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.
I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains.
I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.
I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.
Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, 'Later. Now go get washed up for dinner.' There would have been more 'I love you's' More 'I'm sorry's.'
But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute , look at it and really see it . live it and never give it back.
STOP SWEATING THE SMALL STUFF!!!
Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what
Instead, let's cherish the relationships we have.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Top 10 Positive Emotions
Here is a top-10 list of positive emotions.
How many of these you can feel today?
1. Joy/happiness
2. Confidence/self-esteem
3. Optimism/positive thinking
4. Interest/curiosity
5. Amusement/humor
6. Contentment/serenity/tranquility
7. Love/affection/warmth/caring
8. Respect/positive regard
9. Pride/satisfaction/achievement
10. Gratitude/thankfulness
How many of these you can feel today?
1. Joy/happiness
2. Confidence/self-esteem
3. Optimism/positive thinking
4. Interest/curiosity
5. Amusement/humor
6. Contentment/serenity/tranquility
7. Love/affection/warmth/caring
8. Respect/positive regard
9. Pride/satisfaction/achievement
10. Gratitude/thankfulness
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Goal setting
If you don’t have any goals and don’t feel that you need any, that’s okay. Many people are content with going to work, coming home, watching television, listening to music, reading a
book, taking care of the house, and just going about life. Many motivational leaders will say you need more, but if you are comfortable without goals, that’s fine.
I think goals are important.
If you created some goals, it’s time for a review. Did you complete your goal(s)? If not, why not? Was the goal compromised for some reason — finances, relationships,
family, work, self-imposed limitations/thoughts, procrastination, fear of failure? Did you lack financial education, proper direction, accountability, or mentoring? What can you do to eliminate these obstacles so that you can achieve your goals?
If you want to set new goals, now is the time. The following paragraphs describe a simple exercise that will help you to create goals.
The first step requires a piece of paper, a pen or pencil, a timer, and 20 minutes. Set the timer for 20 minutes and write down 100 goals. Don’t think too hard about it. Write down the
first things that come to mind.
The second step takes a little more time. Categorize the goals into sections. The sections are physical, mental, spiritual, recreation, family, career, social, and financial.
For the third step, divide each goal into action steps using the SMART technique. SMART is an acronym for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Timed. Evaluate the action steps you have decided on to make sure they meet these criteria.
The last step is to begin working the goal. The operative word is “working.” Goals and dreams do not come about by wishing, dreaming, or creating a montage of the things you want on a poster board.
You may find it difficult to determine which goal to work on first. Choose the section/goal that is most important to you at the time. It is also difficult to strike the right balance
between all the sections. Trying to achieve perfection in each section will actually create a negative return on the time invested.
Goals are achieved by completing the above action steps and by asking for guidance, direction, and mentoring.
Zig Ziglar is a phenomenal motivational speaker with a long history of success. He suggests the following action thought when creating your goal(s). Ask yourself five questions: Is it really my goal? (If you’re a minor living at home, an employee, or a team member, some of your goals may be set by your parents, employer, coach, or director.) Is it morally right and fair to everyone concerned? Is it consistent with my other goals? Can I emotionally commit myself to finish this goal? Can I “see” myself reaching this goal?
(written by Dr. Michael Kaye)
Monday, March 8, 2010
Obsessive Thinking
We were taught to approach life from a perspective of fear, survival, lack and scarcity. We were taught that life is about destinations, and that when we get to point X be it marriage or college degree or fame and fortune or whatever - we will live happily ever after.
Of course, this is not the way life works and you already know that and probably discarded that fairy tale ending intelluctually a long time ago. On the emotional and imprint level we keep looking for it because that is what the child in us was taught. We keep living life as if it is a dress rehearsal for "when our ship comes in". For when we really start to live. For when we get that relationship, or accomplishment or money that will make us okay, that will fix us.
We do not require FIXING because we are NOT BROKEN. Our sense of self, our self perception, was shattered and fractures and broken into pieces, not our TRUE SELF.
We are Spiritual Beings having a human experience. We are all here to learn and we are here to go through this process that is life. Finally we are here to feel these feelings. Doing our emotional and imprint healing allows us to feel clear about what what is in front of us instead of torturing ourselves by obsessively thinking, trying to figure out what is right and what is wrong.
Let us first look at some definitions before we continue, Obsessive thinking is an emotional defense and is a manifestations of codependancy. Being in our heads, thinking, fantasizing, ruminating, is a defense we adapted in childhood to help is disassociate from the emotional pain we were experiencing. It is not for our highest good because it keeps us focused on the future or the past, we miss out on being live today, in the NOW. It is not for our highest good because our attempts to ESCAPE unpleasant feelings causes us to generate more unpleasant feelings.
Worry which can be described as negative fantasizing, is a reaction to fear of the unknown which creates more fear, which creates more worry, which creates more fear and so on. This fear is a manifestation of codependancy, a distorted, magnified, virulent, mutated species of fear caused by the poisonous combination of a false Belief that being human is shameful with a polarized (black and white, right and wrong) perspective of life. This self perpetuating, self destructive type of obsessive thinking feeds not only on fear, but on shaming ourselves for feeling the fear!
Codependancy is a useless emotional defense system adapted by our egos to help us survive. The polarized perspective of life we were programmed with in early childhood from our environment and imprint creation as well as inherited imprints, causes us to be afraid of making a mistake, of doing life "wrong". At the core of our being, we feel unlovable and unworthy and we spend great amounts of Energy trying to keep our shameful defectiveness a secret. We feel that , if we were perfect like we "SHOULD" be, we would not feel fear and confusion and would have reached "happily ever after" by now. So, we shame ourselves for feeling fear, which adds gasoline to the inferno of fear that is driving us. The shame and fear that drive obsession becomes so painful and "crazy making" that at some point we have to find a way to shut down our minds for a little while - drugs, alcohol, food, sleep, shopping, television, sex, etc.
This is a very sad way to relate to life. The fear we are empowering is about the future, shame is about the past. We are not capable of being in the NOW and enjoying life because we are caught up in trauma melodramas about things which have not yet happened - or wallowing in orgies of self recrimination about the past, which can not be changed. Codependant behavior does not allow one to really live life in line with their Higher Self and shadows the Essence of the TRUE Self. IT is very important that these imprints be removed from the energetic field.
Obsessive thinking and compulsive behavior is caused by, and fed by, fear and shame. The feeling that the world will come to an end if____ doesn't happen, or that it has come to an end because ____ happened, is a feeling coming from the wounded child within and related imprints firing. It is the result of early childhood emotional trauma and the subconscious programming adapted by our egos to help us survive at a time when we were helpless and powerless.
An adult is not helpless and powerless. We are, however, powerless to know that, as long as we are UNCONSCIOUSLY reacting to repressed emotional energy and imprints and programming from the subconscious. It is impossible to see our self or life clearly when we are caught up in trauma dramas (internally and externally) that feel life threatening. It is our codependancy that we are in denial of our emotions at the same time we are allowing unconscious imprint programming and the feelings of the Inner Child to define and dictate our lives.
Removing the imprints, programming, beliefs and other energetic blockages will help a person take power away from the fear and shame that drives obsessive thinking. Learning to be companssionate in our relationship WITH OUR SELF by not shaming ourselves for being human beings, will help to take power away from the obsessive thinking.
Love is the answer to obsession but not the love of another person. Learning to be LOVING TO YOURSELF and remembering that there is a LOVING HIGHER POWER is the best way to stop obsessive thinking.
written by Nicole Lavoie
information from http://www.selfgrowth.com/
Of course, this is not the way life works and you already know that and probably discarded that fairy tale ending intelluctually a long time ago. On the emotional and imprint level we keep looking for it because that is what the child in us was taught. We keep living life as if it is a dress rehearsal for "when our ship comes in". For when we really start to live. For when we get that relationship, or accomplishment or money that will make us okay, that will fix us.
We do not require FIXING because we are NOT BROKEN. Our sense of self, our self perception, was shattered and fractures and broken into pieces, not our TRUE SELF.
We are Spiritual Beings having a human experience. We are all here to learn and we are here to go through this process that is life. Finally we are here to feel these feelings. Doing our emotional and imprint healing allows us to feel clear about what what is in front of us instead of torturing ourselves by obsessively thinking, trying to figure out what is right and what is wrong.
Let us first look at some definitions before we continue, Obsessive thinking is an emotional defense and is a manifestations of codependancy. Being in our heads, thinking, fantasizing, ruminating, is a defense we adapted in childhood to help is disassociate from the emotional pain we were experiencing. It is not for our highest good because it keeps us focused on the future or the past, we miss out on being live today, in the NOW. It is not for our highest good because our attempts to ESCAPE unpleasant feelings causes us to generate more unpleasant feelings.
Worry which can be described as negative fantasizing, is a reaction to fear of the unknown which creates more fear, which creates more worry, which creates more fear and so on. This fear is a manifestation of codependancy, a distorted, magnified, virulent, mutated species of fear caused by the poisonous combination of a false Belief that being human is shameful with a polarized (black and white, right and wrong) perspective of life. This self perpetuating, self destructive type of obsessive thinking feeds not only on fear, but on shaming ourselves for feeling the fear!
Codependancy is a useless emotional defense system adapted by our egos to help us survive. The polarized perspective of life we were programmed with in early childhood from our environment and imprint creation as well as inherited imprints, causes us to be afraid of making a mistake, of doing life "wrong". At the core of our being, we feel unlovable and unworthy and we spend great amounts of Energy trying to keep our shameful defectiveness a secret. We feel that , if we were perfect like we "SHOULD" be, we would not feel fear and confusion and would have reached "happily ever after" by now. So, we shame ourselves for feeling fear, which adds gasoline to the inferno of fear that is driving us. The shame and fear that drive obsession becomes so painful and "crazy making" that at some point we have to find a way to shut down our minds for a little while - drugs, alcohol, food, sleep, shopping, television, sex, etc.
This is a very sad way to relate to life. The fear we are empowering is about the future, shame is about the past. We are not capable of being in the NOW and enjoying life because we are caught up in trauma melodramas about things which have not yet happened - or wallowing in orgies of self recrimination about the past, which can not be changed. Codependant behavior does not allow one to really live life in line with their Higher Self and shadows the Essence of the TRUE Self. IT is very important that these imprints be removed from the energetic field.
Obsessive thinking and compulsive behavior is caused by, and fed by, fear and shame. The feeling that the world will come to an end if____ doesn't happen, or that it has come to an end because ____ happened, is a feeling coming from the wounded child within and related imprints firing. It is the result of early childhood emotional trauma and the subconscious programming adapted by our egos to help us survive at a time when we were helpless and powerless.
An adult is not helpless and powerless. We are, however, powerless to know that, as long as we are UNCONSCIOUSLY reacting to repressed emotional energy and imprints and programming from the subconscious. It is impossible to see our self or life clearly when we are caught up in trauma dramas (internally and externally) that feel life threatening. It is our codependancy that we are in denial of our emotions at the same time we are allowing unconscious imprint programming and the feelings of the Inner Child to define and dictate our lives.
Removing the imprints, programming, beliefs and other energetic blockages will help a person take power away from the fear and shame that drives obsessive thinking. Learning to be companssionate in our relationship WITH OUR SELF by not shaming ourselves for being human beings, will help to take power away from the obsessive thinking.
Love is the answer to obsession but not the love of another person. Learning to be LOVING TO YOURSELF and remembering that there is a LOVING HIGHER POWER is the best way to stop obsessive thinking.
written by Nicole Lavoie
information from http://www.selfgrowth.com/
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
"17 Rules for a Better Way to Live"
Written by author Og Mandino.
Read and apply these rules and your life will change for the better!
Rule One
Count your blessings. Once you realize how valuable you are and how much you have going for you, the smiles will return, the sun will break out, the music will play, and you will finally be able to move forward the life that God intended for you... with grace, strength, courage, and confidence.
Rule Two
Today, and every day, deliver more than you are getting paid to do. The victory of success will be half won when you learn the secret of putting out more than is expected in all that you do. Make yourself so valuable in your work that eventually you will become indispensable. Exercise your privilege to go the extra mile, and enjoy all the rewards you receive. You deserve them!
Rule Three
Whenever you make a mistake or get knocked down by life, don't look back at it too long. Mistakes are life's way of teaching you. Your capacity for occasional blunders is inseparable from your capacity to reach your goals. No one wins them all, and your failures, when they happen, are just part of your growth. Shake off your blunders. How will you know your limits without an occasional failure? Never quit. Your turn will come.
Rule Four
Always reward your long hours of labor and toil in the very best way, surrounded by your family. Nurture their love carefully, remembering that your children need models, not critics, and your own progress will hasten when you constantly strive to present your best side to your children. And even if you have failed at all else in the eyes of the world, if you have a loving family, you are a success.
Rule Five
Build this day on a foundation of pleasant thoughts. Never fret at any imperfections that you fear may impede your progress. Remind yourself, as often as necessary, that you are a creature of God and have the power to achieve any dream by lifting up your thoughts. You can fly when you decide that you can. Never consider yourself defeat again. Let the vision in your heart be in your life's blueprint. Smile!
Rule Six
Let your actions always speak for you, but be forever on guard against the terrible traps of false pride and conceit that can halt your progress. The next time you are tempted to boast, just place your fist in a full pail of water, and when you remove it, the hole remaining will give you a correct measure of your importance.
Rule Seven
Each day is a special gift, and while life may not always be fair, you must never allow the pains, hurdles, and handicaps of the moment to poison your attitude and plans for yourself and your future. You can never win when you wear the ugly cloak of self-pity, and the sour sound of whining will certainly frighten away any opportunity for success. Never again. There is a better way.
Rule Eight
Never again clutter your days or nights with so many menial and unimportant things that you have no time to accept a real challenge when it comes along. This applies to play as well as work. A day merely survived is no cause for celebration. You are not here to fritter away your precious hours when you have the ability to accomplish so much by making a slight change in your routine. No more busy work. No more hiding from success. Leave time, leave space, to grow. Now. Now! Not tomorrow!
Rule Nine
Live this day as if it will be your last. Remember that you will only find "tomorrow" on the calendars of fools. Forget yesterday's defeats and ignore the problems of tomorrow. This is it. Doomsday. All you have. Make it the best day of your year. The saddest words you can ever utter are, "If I had my life to live over again..."Take the baton, now. Run with it! This is your day!
Rule Ten
Beginning today, treat everyone you meet, friend or foe, loved one or stranger, as if they were going to be dead at midnight. Extend to each person, no matter how trivial the contact, all the care and kindness and understanding and love that you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again.
Rule Eleven
Laugh at yourself and at life. Not in the spirit of derision or whining self- pity, but as a remedy, a miracle drug, that will ease your pain, cure your depression, and help you to put in perspective that seemingly terrible defeat and worry with laughter at your predicaments, thus freeing your mind to think clearly toward the solution that is certain to come. Never take yourself too seriously.
Rule Twelve
Never neglect the little things. Never skimp on that extra effort, that additional few minutes, that soft word of praise or thanks, that delivery of the very best that you can do. It does not matter what others think, it is of prime importance, however, what you think about you. You can never do your best, which should always be your trademark, if you are cutting corners and shirking responsibilities. You are special. Act it. Never neglect the little things.
Rule Thirteen
Welcome every morning with a smile. Look on the new day as another special gift from your Creator, another golden opportunity to complete what you were unable to finish yesterday. Be a self- starter. Let your first hour set the theme of success and positive action that is certain to echo through your entire day. Today will never happen again. Don't waste it with a false start or no start at all. You were not born to fail.
Rule Fourteen
You will achieve grand dreams, a day at a time, so set goals for each day -- not long and difficult projects, but chores that will take you, step by step, toward your rainbow. Write them down, if you must, but limit your list so that you won't have to drag today's undone matters into tomorrow. Remember that you cannot build your pyramid in twenty-four hours. Be patient. Never allow your day to become so cluttered that you neglect your most important goal -- to do the best you can, enjoy this day, and rest satisfied with what you have accomplished.
Rule Fifteen
Never allow anyone to rain on your parade and thus cast a pall of gloom and defeat on the entire day. Remember that no talent, no self-denial, no brains, no character, are required to set up in the fault-finding business. Nothing external can have any power over you unless you permit it. Your time is too precious to be sacrificed in wasted days combating the menial forces of hate, jealously, and envy. Guard your fragile life carefully. Only God can shape a flower, but any foolish child can pull it to pieces.
Rule Sixteen
Search for the seed of good in every adversity. Master that principle and you will own a precious shield that will guard you well through all the darkest valley you must traverse. Stars may be seen from the bottom of a deep well, when they cannot be discerned from the mountaintop. So will you learn things in adversity that you would never have discovered without trouble. There is always a seed of good. Find it and prosper.
Rule Seventeen
Realize that true happiness lies within you. Waste no time and effort searching for peace and contentment and joy in the world outside. Remember that there is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving. Reach out. Share. Smile. Hug. Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.
Rule One
Count your blessings. Once you realize how valuable you are and how much you have going for you, the smiles will return, the sun will break out, the music will play, and you will finally be able to move forward the life that God intended for you... with grace, strength, courage, and confidence.
Rule Two
Today, and every day, deliver more than you are getting paid to do. The victory of success will be half won when you learn the secret of putting out more than is expected in all that you do. Make yourself so valuable in your work that eventually you will become indispensable. Exercise your privilege to go the extra mile, and enjoy all the rewards you receive. You deserve them!
Rule Three
Whenever you make a mistake or get knocked down by life, don't look back at it too long. Mistakes are life's way of teaching you. Your capacity for occasional blunders is inseparable from your capacity to reach your goals. No one wins them all, and your failures, when they happen, are just part of your growth. Shake off your blunders. How will you know your limits without an occasional failure? Never quit. Your turn will come.
Rule Four
Always reward your long hours of labor and toil in the very best way, surrounded by your family. Nurture their love carefully, remembering that your children need models, not critics, and your own progress will hasten when you constantly strive to present your best side to your children. And even if you have failed at all else in the eyes of the world, if you have a loving family, you are a success.
Rule Five
Build this day on a foundation of pleasant thoughts. Never fret at any imperfections that you fear may impede your progress. Remind yourself, as often as necessary, that you are a creature of God and have the power to achieve any dream by lifting up your thoughts. You can fly when you decide that you can. Never consider yourself defeat again. Let the vision in your heart be in your life's blueprint. Smile!
Rule Six
Let your actions always speak for you, but be forever on guard against the terrible traps of false pride and conceit that can halt your progress. The next time you are tempted to boast, just place your fist in a full pail of water, and when you remove it, the hole remaining will give you a correct measure of your importance.
Rule Seven
Each day is a special gift, and while life may not always be fair, you must never allow the pains, hurdles, and handicaps of the moment to poison your attitude and plans for yourself and your future. You can never win when you wear the ugly cloak of self-pity, and the sour sound of whining will certainly frighten away any opportunity for success. Never again. There is a better way.
Rule Eight
Never again clutter your days or nights with so many menial and unimportant things that you have no time to accept a real challenge when it comes along. This applies to play as well as work. A day merely survived is no cause for celebration. You are not here to fritter away your precious hours when you have the ability to accomplish so much by making a slight change in your routine. No more busy work. No more hiding from success. Leave time, leave space, to grow. Now. Now! Not tomorrow!
Rule Nine
Live this day as if it will be your last. Remember that you will only find "tomorrow" on the calendars of fools. Forget yesterday's defeats and ignore the problems of tomorrow. This is it. Doomsday. All you have. Make it the best day of your year. The saddest words you can ever utter are, "If I had my life to live over again..."Take the baton, now. Run with it! This is your day!
Rule Ten
Beginning today, treat everyone you meet, friend or foe, loved one or stranger, as if they were going to be dead at midnight. Extend to each person, no matter how trivial the contact, all the care and kindness and understanding and love that you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again.
Rule Eleven
Laugh at yourself and at life. Not in the spirit of derision or whining self- pity, but as a remedy, a miracle drug, that will ease your pain, cure your depression, and help you to put in perspective that seemingly terrible defeat and worry with laughter at your predicaments, thus freeing your mind to think clearly toward the solution that is certain to come. Never take yourself too seriously.
Rule Twelve
Never neglect the little things. Never skimp on that extra effort, that additional few minutes, that soft word of praise or thanks, that delivery of the very best that you can do. It does not matter what others think, it is of prime importance, however, what you think about you. You can never do your best, which should always be your trademark, if you are cutting corners and shirking responsibilities. You are special. Act it. Never neglect the little things.
Rule Thirteen
Welcome every morning with a smile. Look on the new day as another special gift from your Creator, another golden opportunity to complete what you were unable to finish yesterday. Be a self- starter. Let your first hour set the theme of success and positive action that is certain to echo through your entire day. Today will never happen again. Don't waste it with a false start or no start at all. You were not born to fail.
Rule Fourteen
You will achieve grand dreams, a day at a time, so set goals for each day -- not long and difficult projects, but chores that will take you, step by step, toward your rainbow. Write them down, if you must, but limit your list so that you won't have to drag today's undone matters into tomorrow. Remember that you cannot build your pyramid in twenty-four hours. Be patient. Never allow your day to become so cluttered that you neglect your most important goal -- to do the best you can, enjoy this day, and rest satisfied with what you have accomplished.
Rule Fifteen
Never allow anyone to rain on your parade and thus cast a pall of gloom and defeat on the entire day. Remember that no talent, no self-denial, no brains, no character, are required to set up in the fault-finding business. Nothing external can have any power over you unless you permit it. Your time is too precious to be sacrificed in wasted days combating the menial forces of hate, jealously, and envy. Guard your fragile life carefully. Only God can shape a flower, but any foolish child can pull it to pieces.
Rule Sixteen
Search for the seed of good in every adversity. Master that principle and you will own a precious shield that will guard you well through all the darkest valley you must traverse. Stars may be seen from the bottom of a deep well, when they cannot be discerned from the mountaintop. So will you learn things in adversity that you would never have discovered without trouble. There is always a seed of good. Find it and prosper.
Rule Seventeen
Realize that true happiness lies within you. Waste no time and effort searching for peace and contentment and joy in the world outside. Remember that there is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving. Reach out. Share. Smile. Hug. Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.
A B C's
Accept differences
Be kind
Count your blessings
Dream
Express thanks
Forgive
Give freely
Harm no one
Imagine more
Jettison anger
Keep confidences
Love truly
Master something
Nurture hope
Open your mind
Pack lightly
Quell rumours
Reciprocate
Seek wisdom
Touch hearts
Understand
Value truth
Win graciously
Xeriscape
Yearn for peace
Zealously support a worthy cause
Be kind
Count your blessings
Dream
Express thanks
Forgive
Give freely
Harm no one
Imagine more
Jettison anger
Keep confidences
Love truly
Master something
Nurture hope
Open your mind
Pack lightly
Quell rumours
Reciprocate
Seek wisdom
Touch hearts
Understand
Value truth
Win graciously
Xeriscape
Yearn for peace
Zealously support a worthy cause
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