How to have a more positive outlook on life and stay optimistic, stress free and mentally healthy.
How are you feeling at this very moment?If your answer is anything less than "content," the chances are that your state of angst is being caused by two elements that have nothing to do with the Here and Now; specifically, Yesterday and Tomorrow.Regrets about events that have occurred in the past and apprehensions about what could occur in the future have done more to immobilize otherwise healthy people than anything else in the world.
Want to break the pattern of needless worry and learn to rejoice in the present?The following tips will help you to get there.
YESTERDAY AND TOMORROW ARE NOT WITHIN YOUR CONTROL
Throughout our lifetimes there will be paths we will wish that we had taken or choices that we perceive would have been better ones for us to make.Unfortunately, life doesn't come with an instant replay button or a chance for do-overs.For as much time as one can spend daydreaming about the outcomes of a parallel universe, the less time accordingly becomes available for making good use of the decisions that brought us to our current juncture.Likewise, we can chew our fingernails down to the knuckles and wear a hole in the carpet in our pacing and forth and worrying whether we'll get a promotion, find lasting romance, or have a safe landing on our next plane trip.None of this zealous fretting, however, is going to have any influence on how other people think or whether our time on Earth will be of short or long duration.The question to ask yourself the next time you feel anxious is whether the cause of your worry is something that is within your immediate control to fix.If it isn't, let it go.
THE ONLY THING PREDICTABLE IS CHANGE
Oftentimes when we're deliriously happy, it's hard to imagine an occasion when we were really down in the dumps.The same can be said of being depressed; certainly whatever ecstasy we felt for something or someone once upon a happier time had to have been just a myth compared to the bereft state we're feeling now.The reality, of course, is that not only is life an ebb and flow of happy and sad but that this continuing cycle provides us with the proper frame of reference to appreciate the value of both emotions.If you're feeling troubled and life just doesn't seem as bright as you think it should be, sit down right now and make a list of the 10 happiest events that have ever happened to you.The odds are in this exercise that they either happened completely out of the blue (i.e., winning a prize) or were things that were the result of your own planning (i.e., a great vacation).The first instance shows that, at any moment, something unexpected could happen that will lift your spirits.The second demonstrates that you're entirely capable of orchestrating positive outcomes yourself; you just need to focus on what it is that you want and put your energy toward making it come about
THANKSGIVING YEAR-ROUND
Too often, people wait until Thanksgiving to take stock of all the blessings in their lives.Why be a slave to the calendar when you can take stock any day of the week?For that matter, you can even buy a turkey breast, make some dressing and potatoes, and celebrate Thanksgiving in July!One needs only to watch the news on television or read the daily newspaper to see examples of people around the world who are far less fortunate.Your house, your family, your job, your health""they may not be as perfect as you'd like them to be but take a moment each and every day and consider what your world would be like if all of these things were taken from you.The adage that we are never given more than we can handle holds especially true on the days when life has us down, for it is on those days that we discover our inner strength and our drive to make the next day better"¦and happier.
WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Make a list of ten things that really crack you up.Maybe it's a favorite funny TV show or movie.Maybe it's a friend who always has a great way of telling humorous stories.Maybe it's listening to your children or grandchildren explain the universe.Whatever it is, try to engage in at least one of your ten funny things every day.I even have a friend who started a clippings folder of favorite New Yorker cartoons, short stories, silly cards and jokes that she could pull out whenever she was feeling glum.The secret behind her strategy, of course, is that she always adds to the folder when she's on top of the world as a form of "rainy day insurance" for whenever she later feels the weight of that same world on her shoulders.
THE 5% THEORY
Have you ever dwelled on something for longer than the duration of the actual event itself?Relationships in particular fall into this category.Many an individual, for example, will be remorse for years over the break-up of an affair that only lasted 6 months.Likewise, people will stew needlessly over an incident at the office that happened three weeks ago and that everyone else has pretty much forgotten about.If you're guilty of this habit, it's keeping you from moving forward and being happy.Therefore, apply this simple formula: do not be angry, depressed or mopey for more than 5% of the total amount of time the event was actually occurring.Let's say you dated someone for 10 weeks and he or she then dumped you.Under the 5% theory, you're entitled to whine for 3.5 days.Longer than that and you are just making yourself miserable for no good reason.
TAKE A WALK
Staying indoors and dwelling on your problems won't make them vanish.Getting completely outside of yourself, however, will allow you to view things with a different perspective.You can accomplish this by putting on a good pair of walking shoes, grabbing either a jacket or pair of sunglasses and taking a walk.Even if you've lived in the same neighborhood for years, make a point of paying more attention to the trees, the flowers, the sky, the scent of the air.Engage in conversation with the people that you meet.Make up stories for yourself about the inhabitants of the houses or the passersby in cars.Watch a sunset.Count the stars.And when you come back inside, fix yourself whatever you consider to be the best "comfort food" on the planet.You deserve it!
Showing posts with label goodness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label goodness. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Monday, June 28, 2010
HOW TO STAY YOUNG by George Carlin
I've always loved this list and am glad to see it circulate often....
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay "them "
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable,improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9 Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
10.Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay "them "
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable,improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9 Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
10.Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
Monday, June 21, 2010
On Being Beautiful, Inside and Out
We, as women, must strive to act beautifully if we want to feel beautiful. And when we act beautifully, the world becomes beautiful.
We make choices on a daily basis. Some are "good" (i.e. moral, ethical, healthy, or beneficial), some are "bad" (i.e. immoral, unethical, bad for my health, or detrimental in every way), and some choices we don't even realize we are making at the time.
We act out of habit, and out of comfort. It's understandable. We are human creatures, most of us. This year I want to resemble something closer to a human being. Someone who exists to embrace the spirit of living, to breathe, to expand.
I realize that this cannot be a New Year's resolution. First of all, it's a little late for such a sentiment, and secondly, I don't want to doom this idea to failure.
So here's my plan: I am going to be beautiful every day.
Sounds silly, I know. But I'm not talking about covering up my dark circles and wearing a lovely shade of blush while taking out the trash (although this would certainly go a long way), I mean that I want to make choices and behave in such a way that I feel beautiful every day.
I don't know about you, but I'm tired of feeling like a failure when it comes to being green. Yes, I recycle. Yes, I buy organic. Yes, I use ugly light bulbs. But I know it's not enough. It's not enough to be a green makeup artist, either. I can preach to you day and night about throwing out your chemical-laden, cancer-causing, planet-polluting makeup, and I can publicly endorse or eschew companies that claim to be green, but that's not going to make the world more beautiful.
We, as women, must strive to act beautifully if we want to feel beautiful. And when we act beautifully, the world becomes beautiful.
What does that mean, to "act beautifully"? For me, it means I don't want to cheat on myself anymore. I want to live with integrity — instead of this thing, this replacement for integrity which is so pervasive — this PC-ness of the green movement, this Modern Decency Law (the acknowledgement that the world is collapsing, and it is our duty to behave responsibly so as not to hasten our own demise), which many folks follow to the letter, ignoring the spirit altogether. I've encountered many "ugly" environmentalists. When there's a law, whether real or imagined, there are always loopholes, and it is our nature to obey social laws while exploiting the loopholes. We find ways to appear to do the right thing for all the wrong reasons.
What I want to do is ignore the law, and stop looking for loopholes! I want to act from a place which supercedes civilian code.
Instead of trying to do the "right" thing, I want to do the beautiful thing.
I believe beauty can save the world. But that's not my aim. I will champion beauty, for its own sake. I will strive to act as beauty would dictate. (Which will prove difficult — I have a mean temper, and a righteous indignation that creeps about looking for places to sink its teeth). I'm also profoundly lazy, a fact which I attempt to disguise by being "productive."
No more. My only mission now is to live beautifully. And busy bees are not beautiful. I will live with purpose. This probably means taking my time when I do things. I find that when I hurry (I'm a last minute kind of girl) I inevitably cut corners. Not beautiful.
You've been there: you're shopping for something or other, the store is jam packed with people, you're in a hurry. You don't see what you really want, so you settle for something else — because it will do. Aren't you tired of that? Aren't you sick of making do?
It's one thing to "make do with what you have"... a nice way to reduce consumption and live simply, or creatively; it's quite another thing to "make do" WHILE consuming! To "make do" because you ran out of time. To "make do" because you just want to get it done. To "make do" because you're ready to get married and he happens to be the guy you're dating. To "make do" because you don't know if you'll ever be able to make a living as an artist, and besides, middle management pays better.
Let us stop MAKING DO. Let us simply BE BEAUTIFUL.
We can do this by first examining our lifestyles, and becoming aware of times when we act in hollow ways. When we slight ourselves and each other — you've felt this before, a kind of pinging or aching in your gut. Maybe you've recently decided to eat at home more often (for your health, your budget, or to enhance your sensual experience), but you're ravenously hungry, you're tired, and there's a mediocre Chinese restaurant around the corner. (That was me, last night). So how do I feel today? More beautiful, for satisfying my insta-craving for sodium-heavy fried noodles? Nope. I actually feel a little dirty.
I love treating myself, but I gain more satisfaction from experiences chosen in the light of day (in a calm, detached manner), rather than fumbled for in the dark (when I'm more likely to make do, especially given a low blood sugar scenario).
And how about you? What are your weak spots? When do you find yourself settling for less-than-beautiful?
I intend to spend more time writing about this idea of Beauty (capital B). It is an intellectual and spiritual concept as old as civilization itself, and yet, somewhere along the way we became simple minded, distracted consumers. We are allowing ourselves to be "sold" beauty. But Beauty (capital B) isn't for sale. It is our task to manifest it.
I hope that we can share our ideas on this topic: I welcome your comments, experiences, and insights as we explore the path of Beauty of together. I will continue to post product reviews as well as cosmetic beauty tips, but I am now firm in my resolution to preach Beauty over beauty.
from GAIAM.com
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
"17 Rules for a Better Way to Live"
Written by author Og Mandino.
Read and apply these rules and your life will change for the better!
Rule One
Count your blessings. Once you realize how valuable you are and how much you have going for you, the smiles will return, the sun will break out, the music will play, and you will finally be able to move forward the life that God intended for you... with grace, strength, courage, and confidence.
Rule Two
Today, and every day, deliver more than you are getting paid to do. The victory of success will be half won when you learn the secret of putting out more than is expected in all that you do. Make yourself so valuable in your work that eventually you will become indispensable. Exercise your privilege to go the extra mile, and enjoy all the rewards you receive. You deserve them!
Rule Three
Whenever you make a mistake or get knocked down by life, don't look back at it too long. Mistakes are life's way of teaching you. Your capacity for occasional blunders is inseparable from your capacity to reach your goals. No one wins them all, and your failures, when they happen, are just part of your growth. Shake off your blunders. How will you know your limits without an occasional failure? Never quit. Your turn will come.
Rule Four
Always reward your long hours of labor and toil in the very best way, surrounded by your family. Nurture their love carefully, remembering that your children need models, not critics, and your own progress will hasten when you constantly strive to present your best side to your children. And even if you have failed at all else in the eyes of the world, if you have a loving family, you are a success.
Rule Five
Build this day on a foundation of pleasant thoughts. Never fret at any imperfections that you fear may impede your progress. Remind yourself, as often as necessary, that you are a creature of God and have the power to achieve any dream by lifting up your thoughts. You can fly when you decide that you can. Never consider yourself defeat again. Let the vision in your heart be in your life's blueprint. Smile!
Rule Six
Let your actions always speak for you, but be forever on guard against the terrible traps of false pride and conceit that can halt your progress. The next time you are tempted to boast, just place your fist in a full pail of water, and when you remove it, the hole remaining will give you a correct measure of your importance.
Rule Seven
Each day is a special gift, and while life may not always be fair, you must never allow the pains, hurdles, and handicaps of the moment to poison your attitude and plans for yourself and your future. You can never win when you wear the ugly cloak of self-pity, and the sour sound of whining will certainly frighten away any opportunity for success. Never again. There is a better way.
Rule Eight
Never again clutter your days or nights with so many menial and unimportant things that you have no time to accept a real challenge when it comes along. This applies to play as well as work. A day merely survived is no cause for celebration. You are not here to fritter away your precious hours when you have the ability to accomplish so much by making a slight change in your routine. No more busy work. No more hiding from success. Leave time, leave space, to grow. Now. Now! Not tomorrow!
Rule Nine
Live this day as if it will be your last. Remember that you will only find "tomorrow" on the calendars of fools. Forget yesterday's defeats and ignore the problems of tomorrow. This is it. Doomsday. All you have. Make it the best day of your year. The saddest words you can ever utter are, "If I had my life to live over again..."Take the baton, now. Run with it! This is your day!
Rule Ten
Beginning today, treat everyone you meet, friend or foe, loved one or stranger, as if they were going to be dead at midnight. Extend to each person, no matter how trivial the contact, all the care and kindness and understanding and love that you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again.
Rule Eleven
Laugh at yourself and at life. Not in the spirit of derision or whining self- pity, but as a remedy, a miracle drug, that will ease your pain, cure your depression, and help you to put in perspective that seemingly terrible defeat and worry with laughter at your predicaments, thus freeing your mind to think clearly toward the solution that is certain to come. Never take yourself too seriously.
Rule Twelve
Never neglect the little things. Never skimp on that extra effort, that additional few minutes, that soft word of praise or thanks, that delivery of the very best that you can do. It does not matter what others think, it is of prime importance, however, what you think about you. You can never do your best, which should always be your trademark, if you are cutting corners and shirking responsibilities. You are special. Act it. Never neglect the little things.
Rule Thirteen
Welcome every morning with a smile. Look on the new day as another special gift from your Creator, another golden opportunity to complete what you were unable to finish yesterday. Be a self- starter. Let your first hour set the theme of success and positive action that is certain to echo through your entire day. Today will never happen again. Don't waste it with a false start or no start at all. You were not born to fail.
Rule Fourteen
You will achieve grand dreams, a day at a time, so set goals for each day -- not long and difficult projects, but chores that will take you, step by step, toward your rainbow. Write them down, if you must, but limit your list so that you won't have to drag today's undone matters into tomorrow. Remember that you cannot build your pyramid in twenty-four hours. Be patient. Never allow your day to become so cluttered that you neglect your most important goal -- to do the best you can, enjoy this day, and rest satisfied with what you have accomplished.
Rule Fifteen
Never allow anyone to rain on your parade and thus cast a pall of gloom and defeat on the entire day. Remember that no talent, no self-denial, no brains, no character, are required to set up in the fault-finding business. Nothing external can have any power over you unless you permit it. Your time is too precious to be sacrificed in wasted days combating the menial forces of hate, jealously, and envy. Guard your fragile life carefully. Only God can shape a flower, but any foolish child can pull it to pieces.
Rule Sixteen
Search for the seed of good in every adversity. Master that principle and you will own a precious shield that will guard you well through all the darkest valley you must traverse. Stars may be seen from the bottom of a deep well, when they cannot be discerned from the mountaintop. So will you learn things in adversity that you would never have discovered without trouble. There is always a seed of good. Find it and prosper.
Rule Seventeen
Realize that true happiness lies within you. Waste no time and effort searching for peace and contentment and joy in the world outside. Remember that there is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving. Reach out. Share. Smile. Hug. Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.
Rule One
Count your blessings. Once you realize how valuable you are and how much you have going for you, the smiles will return, the sun will break out, the music will play, and you will finally be able to move forward the life that God intended for you... with grace, strength, courage, and confidence.
Rule Two
Today, and every day, deliver more than you are getting paid to do. The victory of success will be half won when you learn the secret of putting out more than is expected in all that you do. Make yourself so valuable in your work that eventually you will become indispensable. Exercise your privilege to go the extra mile, and enjoy all the rewards you receive. You deserve them!
Rule Three
Whenever you make a mistake or get knocked down by life, don't look back at it too long. Mistakes are life's way of teaching you. Your capacity for occasional blunders is inseparable from your capacity to reach your goals. No one wins them all, and your failures, when they happen, are just part of your growth. Shake off your blunders. How will you know your limits without an occasional failure? Never quit. Your turn will come.
Rule Four
Always reward your long hours of labor and toil in the very best way, surrounded by your family. Nurture their love carefully, remembering that your children need models, not critics, and your own progress will hasten when you constantly strive to present your best side to your children. And even if you have failed at all else in the eyes of the world, if you have a loving family, you are a success.
Rule Five
Build this day on a foundation of pleasant thoughts. Never fret at any imperfections that you fear may impede your progress. Remind yourself, as often as necessary, that you are a creature of God and have the power to achieve any dream by lifting up your thoughts. You can fly when you decide that you can. Never consider yourself defeat again. Let the vision in your heart be in your life's blueprint. Smile!
Rule Six
Let your actions always speak for you, but be forever on guard against the terrible traps of false pride and conceit that can halt your progress. The next time you are tempted to boast, just place your fist in a full pail of water, and when you remove it, the hole remaining will give you a correct measure of your importance.
Rule Seven
Each day is a special gift, and while life may not always be fair, you must never allow the pains, hurdles, and handicaps of the moment to poison your attitude and plans for yourself and your future. You can never win when you wear the ugly cloak of self-pity, and the sour sound of whining will certainly frighten away any opportunity for success. Never again. There is a better way.
Rule Eight
Never again clutter your days or nights with so many menial and unimportant things that you have no time to accept a real challenge when it comes along. This applies to play as well as work. A day merely survived is no cause for celebration. You are not here to fritter away your precious hours when you have the ability to accomplish so much by making a slight change in your routine. No more busy work. No more hiding from success. Leave time, leave space, to grow. Now. Now! Not tomorrow!
Rule Nine
Live this day as if it will be your last. Remember that you will only find "tomorrow" on the calendars of fools. Forget yesterday's defeats and ignore the problems of tomorrow. This is it. Doomsday. All you have. Make it the best day of your year. The saddest words you can ever utter are, "If I had my life to live over again..."Take the baton, now. Run with it! This is your day!
Rule Ten
Beginning today, treat everyone you meet, friend or foe, loved one or stranger, as if they were going to be dead at midnight. Extend to each person, no matter how trivial the contact, all the care and kindness and understanding and love that you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again.
Rule Eleven
Laugh at yourself and at life. Not in the spirit of derision or whining self- pity, but as a remedy, a miracle drug, that will ease your pain, cure your depression, and help you to put in perspective that seemingly terrible defeat and worry with laughter at your predicaments, thus freeing your mind to think clearly toward the solution that is certain to come. Never take yourself too seriously.
Rule Twelve
Never neglect the little things. Never skimp on that extra effort, that additional few minutes, that soft word of praise or thanks, that delivery of the very best that you can do. It does not matter what others think, it is of prime importance, however, what you think about you. You can never do your best, which should always be your trademark, if you are cutting corners and shirking responsibilities. You are special. Act it. Never neglect the little things.
Rule Thirteen
Welcome every morning with a smile. Look on the new day as another special gift from your Creator, another golden opportunity to complete what you were unable to finish yesterday. Be a self- starter. Let your first hour set the theme of success and positive action that is certain to echo through your entire day. Today will never happen again. Don't waste it with a false start or no start at all. You were not born to fail.
Rule Fourteen
You will achieve grand dreams, a day at a time, so set goals for each day -- not long and difficult projects, but chores that will take you, step by step, toward your rainbow. Write them down, if you must, but limit your list so that you won't have to drag today's undone matters into tomorrow. Remember that you cannot build your pyramid in twenty-four hours. Be patient. Never allow your day to become so cluttered that you neglect your most important goal -- to do the best you can, enjoy this day, and rest satisfied with what you have accomplished.
Rule Fifteen
Never allow anyone to rain on your parade and thus cast a pall of gloom and defeat on the entire day. Remember that no talent, no self-denial, no brains, no character, are required to set up in the fault-finding business. Nothing external can have any power over you unless you permit it. Your time is too precious to be sacrificed in wasted days combating the menial forces of hate, jealously, and envy. Guard your fragile life carefully. Only God can shape a flower, but any foolish child can pull it to pieces.
Rule Sixteen
Search for the seed of good in every adversity. Master that principle and you will own a precious shield that will guard you well through all the darkest valley you must traverse. Stars may be seen from the bottom of a deep well, when they cannot be discerned from the mountaintop. So will you learn things in adversity that you would never have discovered without trouble. There is always a seed of good. Find it and prosper.
Rule Seventeen
Realize that true happiness lies within you. Waste no time and effort searching for peace and contentment and joy in the world outside. Remember that there is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving. Reach out. Share. Smile. Hug. Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.
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