words to live by

* You can't change the past, but you can ruin the present by worrying over the future.
* Love ... and you shall be loved.
* All people smile in the same language.
* A hug is a great gift ... one size fits all. It can be given for any accasion and it's easy to exchange.
* Everyone needs to be loved ... especially when they do not deserve it.
* Laughter is Love's sunshine.
* Everything has beauty but not everyone sees it.
* If you fill your heart with regrets of yesterday and the worries of tomorrow, you have no today to be thankful for.
* Happy memories never wear out ... relive them as often as you want.
* Home is the place where we grumble the most, but are often treated the best.
* If anyone speaks badly of you, live so none will believe it.
* Harsh words break no bones but they do break hearts.
* To get out of a difficulty, one usually must go through it.
* We take for granted the things that we should be giving thanks for.
* Love is the only thing that can be divided without being diminished.
* Happiness is enhanced by others but does not depend upon others.
* You are richer today if you have laughed, given or forgiven.
* For every minute you are angry with someone, you lose 60 seconds of happiness that you can never get back.
* Do what you can, for who you can, with what you have, and where you are.

Value

A well known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?"







Hands started going up.






He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this." He proceeded to crumple the dollar bill up.






He then asked, "Who still wants it?"






Still the hands were up in the air.






"Well," he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe.






He picked it up, now all crumpled and dirty. "Now who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air.






"My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20.






Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way.






We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. You are special - Don't ever forget it!
 
 
from Marcia Johnson
 

Do you love yourself?

Learning to love yourself isn't easy -- especially if you're a survivor of childhood abuse or neglect. But there are things you can do to boost your self-love.


Ask for a list of things people like about you.

Sometimes it can be hard to find things we like or love about ourselves. So -- ask other people to tell you all the things they like about you. Ask a friend, a lover, a therapist. This isn't a replacement for your own love; it's a first step in learning to love yourself. You may need to hear the things other people like about you before you can value them in youself.

If hearing what people like about you is hard, ask your friends to write it down for you, or leave it on your voice mail, so you can read/listen to it over and over. Go back to it as many times as you can. Even if you don't believe that someone can like a particular thing about you, or you don't believe it exists, trust that your friend does see it and value it.

When you start to hear critical voices inside your head, go back to those things your friend said/wrote about you, and remember that you are loved.



Make a list of the things you like about yourself.
Make a list of all the things you like about yourself. Be as honest as you can. Modesty doesn't help you here; neither do old critical messages. If you're having trouble finding things you value about yourself, think about the things you value and love in your friends, then see if those things exist inside you, too. Most often, they do.


Fill a special notebook with your list, or create a set of cards. Make the notebook as beautiful as you can -- make it something that makes you feel good when you look at it. Then open it up and look at it any time you're feeling down or critical about yourself, or any time anyone says anything that triggers your criticalness of yourself.

Look at this good-things-about-yourself book as frequently as you can. It may seem silly, but repetition really does make a difference. (Just think of the impact one critical phrase said by a parent over and over to a child can have. It really does have an effect! Now try to give that child inside you at least one truly loving phrase about yourself that s/he can hold on to.)



Make it part of your daily routine to praise something in yourself or think about something you like about yourself.

In this society, we're taught that praising ourselves is selfish and wrong. But praising ourselves for things that are good about ourselves only helps us. It is a healing thing to do, something that nourishes our self-worth. When we love ourselves, we're happier and more true to our own selves...and that happiness and ability to be free spreads to others.


So...try to think of something that you like about yourself, or something that you did today that made you or someone else feel good -- no matter how small it may seem. Give yourself the kind of warm praise that you would a friend.



Love yourself like a friend
Close your eyes and think of a person you deeply love and trust, and who you know loves you-- a friend, a lover. Think about all the things you love and appreciate about them. Notice how that love feels inside you, how it makes you feel good.

Now turn it around the other way -- be your friend, feeling that same deep love for you. Trust in their love for you, and just feel it. Let yourself see your self through gentle eyes, with compassion and love the way your friend does, even if you can only do it for a moment. Now let yourself receive that love, the love you have as a friend to yourself. Feel the warmth move through you. Remember how it feels, and come back to that love another time.



Make a note every time someone says something nice about you.
Every time someone tells you something about yourself that makes you feel good, write it down or make a mental note and jot it down later. When you get home, put that note in a container of "good things about me." Decorate the container however you like. Keep on adding notes, and read them over every time you need a little boost -- and even when you don't feel like you do.



Have compassion for yourself.
If you're feeling really judgemental about something you've done or said, try to understand where the judgement is coming from. Not the immediate, surface answer, but an answer deep down inside you. Are you afraid of something, or are you feeling insecure? Do you think you did something "wrong," or are you hearing the judgement of a voice from your past? Try to connect to that little kid inside of you who's feeling that way, and really listen to how s/he's feeling. Hug and reassure that kid, and let her/him know that s/he didn't do anything wrong, and that you love her/him.

You can also think of a friend having acted as you did. Imagine how you'd feel towards them -- how you'd still love them and readily forgive them if there was anything to forgive. You probably wouldn't even find it bothersome! Try to feel that same love and compassion for yourself.



Recognize that the love has to come from you.
If you're a survivor of child abuse or come from a dysfunctional family, you may still be waiting for a parent to give you the love and acceptance you never got as a child. But the kind of love you need (or needed as a child) probably isn't going to come from a parent who abused you or who looked the other way while you were being abused. But it can come from yourself.


It can be hard to give it to yourself at first -- after all, if you didn't receive love as a child, or if some of that love was torn away from you by violence, self-hate may have built up inside you. But you have the courage and strength to love yourself, if you've survived this long. And you do deserve it!

So try to connect to that little child inside, that child who deserves all of your love and acceptance.



Use Affirmations
I know, I know, this sounds corny. But if you hear good things about yourself over and over, you can't help but have some of it sink in.


Write out strong, loving things to say to yourself, even if you don't fully believe them. Some examples are:


"I utterly and completely deserve love and kindness,"


"I am a very loveable person,"


"I am kind, compassionate, intelligent, and wise." (or subsitute the words for loving words that you feel best suit you.

Now put up those affirmations in places you'll see them every day -- on the fridge, on the bathroom mirror, on your bedside table, next to your favourite chair, on the kitchen wall next to where you cook your food or eat a meal. Don't forget to read them.

If you're not comfortable having them up in such public places, then write out a bunch of them (or copies of a few) and put them in places you'll find them -- in your jacket or jeans pocket, in a book you're reading or a favourite book, in your desk drawer, in with your clothes. They're little love notes to yourself. In fact, you may want to do both things -- have them up and also hidden in places where you'll find them.

When you read an affirmation, read it slowly, and really let yourself feel it. Don't just say it by rote. Try to let yourself be there as fully as you can.



Recognize Self-Critical Messages -- and Talk to Them
It's easy to let old, critical voices and messages that we heard as a child play over and over in our minds, without stopping them. Often we may barely recognize that they are there, or we don't really listen to them, we've heard them so often -- but they continue to impact how we feel and think about ourselves.

Try noticing next time you hear a small (or very loud) voice inside your head criticize you. Be aware of what it is saying to you, and try to talk to it. Ask it why it feels it needs to say those things. Is that part of you trying to protect you, in some child-like logic? Or perhaps that part of you felt it had to take on the messages you heard as a kid. Remind that part of you that you no longer need to do that to survive. You are free to make up your own mind about yourself.




Counteract Negative or Critical Thoughts About Yourself
Write down all the negative or critical thoughts and messages you hear inside your head. See if you can figure out who first said them to you (or said something of that nature). Then write out a response that counteracts each of those messages, one by one. Make the counter messages as strong and loving as you can.

If you're having trouble writing out counter messages, see if you can connect to a deep, wise part inside of you. Or write out what you would say to a friend if a friend said those things about her/himself.



Do Comforting and Nurturing Things For Yourself
Allow yourself to do comforting and nurturing things for yourself. Let yourself feel how good you feel when you do those things -- and tell yourself that you deserve to feel that way, to feel good. Gradually you'll find that the more nurturing and comforting times you have, the more you'll seek them out -- and they will help build a good feeling inside you.


Ask Yourself What You Need to Do
Some of these things will work really well for you, while others may not quite fit you. So try taking a moment to get quiet, and ask yourself, "What can I do to help myself feel more compassion and love toward myself?" Don't force an answer -- just let the answer bubble up from inside you. If you find it hard to hear the answer that way, try writing out your question, and then your answer. See what you come up with. You know best what works for you -- and you have great wisdom inside you.





Above all -- have compassion for yourself and for where you're at. Remember that you are a truly loveable person -- and that you deserve only kind treatment, especially from yourself. :)



© C. Rainfield, 2001

Magic Cure for Stress

                  “Let nature perform its magic.”

There are times when we feel pressured by life. Deadlines are looming, household appliances suddenly break, we’re sleep deprived, or people put unexpected pressures on us. We feel temporarily overwhelmed. We desperately tread water, yet the waves come in relentlessly.

It’s time for a mental break!

When your mind is racing, or you’re close to tears with tiredness and frustration, you need to go within and listen to your inner wisdom. To get in touch with your inner self, seek nature.

Leave the mess that is strewn across the living room floor, walk away from the computer and its ever amassing emails. Go outside. Do nothing. Consciously become aware of your senses. Listen to the noises around you, feel the surface you are sitting, standing, or lying on, smell the scents and aromas around you, see dispassionately what is before you. Escaping into your primary senses temporarily stops thinking and eases stress.

Leave your inner chaos behind and experience the magic of nature today.

©Jane Powell – Meditations for Women

Poem for Women

~ there is much debate over who is the original writter of this poem

~ some say it is Pamela Redmond Satran that wrote the above
~ it has always been voiced that this was written by Maya Angelou


A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
enough money within her control to move out

and rent a place of her own,
even if she never wants to or needs to…


A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..
something perfect to wear if the employer, or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour…


A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..
a youth she’s content to leave behind….
a past juicy enough that she’s looking forward to
retelling it in her old age….

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …..
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .
one friend who always makes her laugh… and one who lets her cry…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ….
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family…


A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal, that will make her guests feel honored…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
a feeling of control over her destiny.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
how to fall in love without losing herself.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
how to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship…


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
when to try harder… and WHEN TO WALK AWAY…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
that she can’t change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
that her childhood may not have been perfect…but its over…


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
what she would and wouldn’t do for love or more…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
how to live alone… even if she doesn’t like it…


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..
whom she can trust,
whom she can’t,
and why she shouldn’t take it personally…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
where to go…
be it to her best friend’s kitchen table…
or a charming inn in the woods…
when her soul needs soothing…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
what she can and can’t accomplish in a day…
a month…and a year…

http://mayaangelou.com/


                                      *          *          *          *          *

By 30, you should have:



One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you’ve come.


A decent piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family.


Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour.


A purse, a suitcase and an umbrella you’re not ashamed to be seen carrying.


A youth you’re content to move beyond.


A past juicy enough that you’re looking forward to retelling it in your old age.


The realization that you are actually going to have an old age—and some money set aside to help fund it.


An e-mail address, a voice mailbox and a bank account—all of which nobody has access to but you.


A résumé that is not even the slightest bit padded.


One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry.


A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill and a black lace bra.


Something ridiculously expensive that you bought for yourself, just because you deserve it.


The belief that you deserve it.


A skin-care regimen, an exercise routine and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don’t get better after 30.


A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship and all those other facets of life that do get better.


By 30, you should know:


How to fall in love without losing yourself.


How you feel about having kids.


How to quit a job, break up with a man and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.


When to try harder and when to walk away.


How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn’t like to happen next.


The names of: the secretary of state, your great-grandmother and the best tailor in town.


How to live alone, even if you don’t like to.


How to take control of your own birthday.


That you can’t change the length of your calves, the width of your hips or the nature of your parents.


That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it’s over.


What you would and wouldn’t do for money or love.


That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs or not flossing for very long.


Who you can trust, who you can’t and why you shouldn’t take it personally.


Not to apologize for something that isn’t your fault.


Why they say life begins at 30.
http://www.pamelaredmondsatran.com/life.php
http://www.glamour.com/magazine/2007/02/things-women-should-have-and-know-by-30

transform your life

“It all starts with a vision.”


A vision is an inspired idea. It is a concept that motivates you and pushes you into action.


You know when a vision hits you, by the energy and excitement you feel. A clear vision gets you charged and keeps you going. The very thought fills you with energy and positive feelings.


Your visions inspire a sense of purpose and direction. They give you a target to aim for, an aspiration to live for. With the motivation that comes from visions, you can transform yourself and your life.


Once you have a vision in mind, use the energy it inspires to create a plan. Then, imagine the plan in motion and the vision achieved. That’s how visions become realities!

©Jane Powell – Meditations for Women

Today's Affirmation: I use the energy from my visions to inspire and motivate me into action

HOW TO STAY YOUNG by George Carlin

I've always loved this list and am glad to see it circulate often....


1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay "them "

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable,improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9 Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

10.Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.


AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

On Being Beautiful, Inside and Out

We, as women, must strive to act beautifully if we want to feel beautiful. And when we act beautifully, the world becomes beautiful.

:: By Aimee Valentine

We make choices on a daily basis. Some are "good" (i.e. moral, ethical, healthy, or beneficial), some are "bad" (i.e. immoral, unethical, bad for my health, or detrimental in every way), and some choices we don't even realize we are making at the time.

We act out of habit, and out of comfort. It's understandable. We are human creatures, most of us. This year I want to resemble something closer to a human being. Someone who exists to embrace the spirit of living, to breathe, to expand.

I realize that this cannot be a New Year's resolution. First of all, it's a little late for such a sentiment, and secondly, I don't want to doom this idea to failure.

So here's my plan: I am going to be beautiful every day.

Sounds silly, I know. But I'm not talking about covering up my dark circles and wearing a lovely shade of blush while taking out the trash (although this would certainly go a long way), I mean that I want to make choices and behave in such a way that I feel beautiful every day.

I don't know about you, but I'm tired of feeling like a failure when it comes to being green. Yes, I recycle. Yes, I buy organic. Yes, I use ugly light bulbs. But I know it's not enough. It's not enough to be a green makeup artist, either. I can preach to you day and night about throwing out your chemical-laden, cancer-causing, planet-polluting makeup, and I can publicly endorse or eschew companies that claim to be green, but that's not going to make the world more beautiful.

We, as women, must strive to act beautifully if we want to feel beautiful. And when we act beautifully, the world becomes beautiful.

What does that mean, to "act beautifully"? For me, it means I don't want to cheat on myself anymore. I want to live with integrity — instead of this thing, this replacement for integrity which is so pervasive — this PC-ness of the green movement, this Modern Decency Law (the acknowledgement that the world is collapsing, and it is our duty to behave responsibly so as not to hasten our own demise), which many folks follow to the letter, ignoring the spirit altogether. I've encountered many "ugly" environmentalists. When there's a law, whether real or imagined, there are always loopholes, and it is our nature to obey social laws while exploiting the loopholes. We find ways to appear to do the right thing for all the wrong reasons.

What I want to do is ignore the law, and stop looking for loopholes! I want to act from a place which supercedes civilian code.

Instead of trying to do the "right" thing, I want to do the beautiful thing.

I believe beauty can save the world. But that's not my aim. I will champion beauty, for its own sake. I will strive to act as beauty would dictate. (Which will prove difficult — I have a mean temper, and a righteous indignation that creeps about looking for places to sink its teeth). I'm also profoundly lazy, a fact which I attempt to disguise by being "productive."

No more. My only mission now is to live beautifully. And busy bees are not beautiful. I will live with purpose. This probably means taking my time when I do things. I find that when I hurry (I'm a last minute kind of girl) I inevitably cut corners. Not beautiful.

You've been there: you're shopping for something or other, the store is jam packed with people, you're in a hurry. You don't see what you really want, so you settle for something else — because it will do. Aren't you tired of that? Aren't you sick of making do?

It's one thing to "make do with what you have"... a nice way to reduce consumption and live simply, or creatively; it's quite another thing to "make do" WHILE consuming! To "make do" because you ran out of time. To "make do" because you just want to get it done. To "make do" because you're ready to get married and he happens to be the guy you're dating. To "make do" because you don't know if you'll ever be able to make a living as an artist, and besides, middle management pays better.

Let us stop MAKING DO. Let us simply BE BEAUTIFUL.

We can do this by first examining our lifestyles, and becoming aware of times when we act in hollow ways. When we slight ourselves and each other — you've felt this before, a kind of pinging or aching in your gut. Maybe you've recently decided to eat at home more often (for your health, your budget, or to enhance your sensual experience), but you're ravenously hungry, you're tired, and there's a mediocre Chinese restaurant around the corner. (That was me, last night). So how do I feel today? More beautiful, for satisfying my insta-craving for sodium-heavy fried noodles? Nope. I actually feel a little dirty.

I love treating myself, but I gain more satisfaction from experiences chosen in the light of day (in a calm, detached manner), rather than fumbled for in the dark (when I'm more likely to make do, especially given a low blood sugar scenario).

And how about you? What are your weak spots? When do you find yourself settling for less-than-beautiful?

I intend to spend more time writing about this idea of Beauty (capital B). It is an intellectual and spiritual concept as old as civilization itself, and yet, somewhere along the way we became simple minded, distracted consumers. We are allowing ourselves to be "sold" beauty. But Beauty (capital B) isn't for sale. It is our task to manifest it.

I hope that we can share our ideas on this topic: I welcome your comments, experiences, and insights as we explore the path of Beauty of together. I will continue to post product reviews as well as cosmetic beauty tips, but I am now firm in my resolution to preach Beauty over beauty.

from GAIAM.com

Children Learn What They Live

If a child lives with criticism,


he learns to condemn.


If a child lives with hostility,


he learns to fight.


If a child lives with ridicule,


he learns to feel shy.


If a child lives with shame,


he learns to feel guilty.


If a child lives with tolerance,


he learns to be patient.


If a child lives with encouragement,


he learns confidence.


If a child lives with praise,


he learns to appreciate.


If a child lives with fairness,


he learns justice.


If a child lives with security,


he learns to have faith.


If a child lives with approval,


he learns to like himself.


If a child lives with acceptance and friendship,


he learns to find love in the world.

Appreciation in Action

Column By Mike Robbins
-----------------------
It's not what we know it's what we do that matters!


Many of us have brilliant ideas and/or learn amazing new concepts all the time. However, until we put these insights into action they have no impact on our lives. Appreciation
is often one of these "insights."


Most of us know how important it is to appreciate ourselves and others, and to live with an attitude of gratitude. However, knowing about the importance of appreciation and
acting in an appreciative way are two totally different things.


Here are a few simple and powerful actions you can take on a regular basis to increase your personal level of appreciation and that of those around you:


5 Simple Acts of Appreciation:


1) Write heartfelt thank you notes: In today's fast-paced world of email, cell phones, instant messages, and more, the power of a hand-written, thank you note is immeasurable.


Each week pick out at least one person in your life you would like to acknowledge. Sit down and write a heartfelt thank you note to that person and send it to them in the
mail -- yes, the "snail mail." See how they respond. They will love it and so will you.


One week, write the note to yourself and send it in the mail to your home. You will not believe how good it feels to get that card in the mail.


2) Use a "gratitude" journal: A gratitude journal is a place where you write down things that you are grateful for, what you are proud of, and all the positive stuff that is happening in your life.


This journal is a safe place for you to express your gratitude, about yourself and your life, on a regular basis.
Regardless of our circumstances, there are always things to be grateful for. And, the more attention we focus on being grateful, the more we have to be grateful for. It is amazing how this works.


3) Compliment people: Make a commitment to go out of your way to "catch people doing things right" and let them know about it. We always find what we look for and if we look for the greatness in others, we will find it.


Once we find that greatness, we then have a choice about whether or not to share it with them. It sometimes takes courage on our part, but when we acknowledge other people (in a genuine way), not only do we create a win-win situation; we actually encourage more of the behavior, attitudes, and/or attributes that we appreciate in them.


4) When people compliment you, say "thank you" and then shut your mouth: The irony about appreciation is that most of us are starving for it and many of us are horrible at accepting it.


The best example of this is how awkward and weird people often get when they are complimented. Even if you feel funny or uncomfortable when people compliment you, simply say "thank you" and then shut up.


Whatever you say after that (a self-deprecating joke, a quick complimentary response, etc.) is often a way of avoiding the appreciation and/or deflecting the compliment.


Just like a birthday present, say "thank you" and accept the gift (compliment) that is being giving to you. The better you become at receiving compliments, the more you will get.


5) Start and end meetings with appreciation: When you get together with other people for a business meeting, a family dinner, an informal gathering, a team session, or anything else, one of the best things you can do is to start and end the meeting with appreciation.


At the beginning, have people talk for a few minutes about what is working, what is going well, and what they are excited or happy about. This starts the meeting off on a positive note. At the end, take a few minutes for acknowledgments. Allow people to compliment each other, thank one another, point out strengths, and focus on what is being accomplished.


Starting and ending meetings with appreciation makes everyone feel better about themselves, the work that is being done, and about the group as a whole.


These are just a few simple examples of the many actions we can take to increase our personal level of appreciation and that of the people around us. Now the million-dollar question is, what will you actually do?

Lessons we learn from Geese

This story has been circulated, but it is a great one to embrace !

Next fall when you see geese heading south for the winter... flying along in V formation...you might consider what science has discovered as to why they fly that way:

Fact 1: As each goose flaps its wings it creates an "uplift" for the birds that follow. By flying in a "V" formation, the whole flock adds 71% greater flying range than if each bird flew alone. Lesson: People who share a common direction and sense of community can get where they are going quicker and easier because they are traveling on the thrust of one another.

Fact 2: When a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of flying alone. It quickly moves back into formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird immediately in front of it.

Lesson: If we have as much sense as a goose we stay in formation with those headed where we want to go. We are willing to accept their help and give our help to others.

Fact 3: When the lead goose tires, it rotates back into the formation and another goose flies to the point position.

Lesson: It pays to take turns doing the hard tasks and sharing leadership. As with geese, people are interdependent on each other's skills, capabilities and unique arrangements of gifts, talents or resources.

Fact 4: The geese flying in formation honk to encourage those up front to keep up their speed.

Lesson: We need to make sure honking is encouraging. In groups where there is encouragement the production is much greater. The power of encouragement (to stand by one's heart or core values and encourage the heart and core of others) is the quality of honking we seek.

Fact 5: When a goose gets sick, wounded, or shot down, two geese drop out of formation and follow it down to help and protect it. They stay with it until it dies or is able to fly again. Then, they launch out with another formation or catch up with the flock.

Lesson: If we have as much sense as geese, we will stand by each other in difficult times as well as when we are strong.

-- Author Unknown

You're Awesome ! (find out why)

“Appreciate the women under your skin.”

The nurturing, caring, mother…the passionate, exciting vamp…the romantic dreamer…the playful child…the determined go-getter…the loyal friend – all these women and more are inside you.

Acknowledge and treasure each one!

Give each of your inner women time and opportunity to surface, for each has wonderful things to offer and makes you so lovable.

Make time for nurturing and passion and romance. Follow your goals and let nothing stop you. Find opportunities for friendship and fun. Respect all your inner womanly strengths and values.

Be proud of these things, for together they create one truly amazing woman. That woman is you!

©Jane Powell – Meditations for Women

Today’s Affirmation: I am proud of who I am.

How to Love Yourself

1. Stop all criticism: Criticism never changes a thing. Refuse to criticize yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are. Everybody changes. When you criticize yourself, your changes are negative. When you approve of yourself, your changes are positive.

2. Don't scare yourself: Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts. It's a dreadful way to live. Find a mental image that gives you pleasure (mine is yellow roses), and immediately switch your scary thought to a pleasure thought.

3. Be gentle and kind and patient: Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be patient
with yourself as you learn the new ways of thinking. Treat yourself as you would someone you
really loved.

4. Be kind to your mind: Self-hatred is only hating your own thoughts. Don't hate yourself for having the thoughts. Gently change the thoughts.

5. Praise yourself: Criticism breaks the inner spirit. Praise builds it up. Praise yourself as much as you can. Tell yourself how well you are doing with every little thing.

6. Support yourself: Find ways to support yourself. Reach out to friends, and allow them to help you. It is being strong to ask for help when you need it.

7. Be loving to your negatives: Acknowledge that you created them to fulfill a need. Now you are finding new, positive ways to fulfill those needs. So. lovingly release the old negative patterns.

8. Take care of your body: Learn about nutrition. What kind of fuel does your body need to have optimum energy and vitality? Learn about exercise. What kind of exercise can you enjoy? Cherish and revere the temple you live in.

9. Mirror work: Look into your own eyes often. Express this growing sense of love you have for yourself. Forgive yourself looking into the mirror. Talk to your parents looking into the mirror. Forgive them, too. At least once a day, say: "I love you, I really love you!"

10. LOVE YOURSELF - DO IT NOW! Don't wait until you get well or lose the weight, or get the new job, or find the new relationship. Begin NOW - do the best you can.



- from Louise Hay through Mind, Body & Spirit

Erma Bombeck

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER - by Erma Bombeck

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, 'Later. Now go get washed up for dinner.' There would have been more 'I love you's' More 'I'm sorry's.'

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute , look at it and really see it . live it and never give it back.

STOP SWEATING THE SMALL STUFF!!!

Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what
Instead, let's cherish the relationships we have.

Top 10 Positive Emotions

Here is a top-10 list of positive emotions.
How many of these you can feel today?

1. Joy/happiness
2. Confidence/self-esteem
3. Optimism/positive thinking
4. Interest/curiosity
5. Amusement/humor
6. Contentment/serenity/tranquility
7. Love/affection/warmth/caring
8. Respect/positive regard
9. Pride/satisfaction/achievement
10. Gratitude/thankfulness

Goal setting

If you don’t have any goals and don’t feel that you need any, that’s okay. Many people are content with going to work, coming home, watching television, listening to music, reading a
book, taking care of the house, and just going about life. Many motivational leaders will say you need more, but if you are comfortable without goals, that’s fine.

I think goals are important.

If you created some goals, it’s time for a review. Did you complete your goal(s)? If not, why not? Was the goal compromised for some reason — finances, relationships,
family, work, self-imposed limitations/thoughts, procrastination, fear of failure? Did you lack financial education, proper direction, accountability, or mentoring? What can you do to eliminate these obstacles so that you can achieve your goals?

If you want to set new goals, now is the time. The following paragraphs describe a simple exercise that will help you to create goals.

The first step requires a piece of paper, a pen or pencil, a timer, and 20 minutes. Set the timer for 20 minutes and write down 100 goals. Don’t think too hard about it. Write down the
first things that come to mind.

The second step takes a little more time. Categorize the goals into sections. The sections are physical, mental, spiritual, recreation, family, career, social, and financial.

For the third step, divide each goal into action steps using the SMART technique. SMART is an acronym for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Timed. Evaluate the action steps you have decided on to make sure they meet these criteria.

The last step is to begin working the goal. The operative word is “working.” Goals and dreams do not come about by wishing, dreaming, or creating a montage of the things you want on a poster board.

You may find it difficult to determine which goal to work on first. Choose the section/goal that is most important to you at the time. It is also difficult to strike the right balance
between all the sections. Trying to achieve perfection in each section will actually create a negative return on the time invested.

Goals are achieved by completing the above action steps and by asking for guidance, direction, and mentoring.

Zig Ziglar is a phenomenal motivational speaker with a long history of success. He suggests the following action thought when creating your goal(s). Ask yourself five questions: Is it really my goal? (If you’re a minor living at home, an employee, or a team member, some of your goals may be set by your parents, employer, coach, or director.) Is it morally right and fair to everyone concerned? Is it consistent with my other goals? Can I emotionally commit myself to finish this goal? Can I “see” myself reaching this goal?

(written by Dr. Michael Kaye)

Obsessive Thinking

We were taught to approach life from a perspective of fear, survival, lack and scarcity. We were taught that life is about destinations, and that when we get to point X be it marriage or college degree or fame and fortune or whatever - we will live happily ever after.

Of course, this is not the way life works and you already know that and probably discarded that fairy tale ending intelluctually a long time ago. On the emotional and imprint level we keep looking for it because that is what the child in us was taught. We keep living life as if it is a dress rehearsal for "when our ship comes in". For when we really start to live. For when we get that relationship, or accomplishment or money that will make us okay, that will fix us.

We do not require FIXING because we are NOT BROKEN. Our sense of self, our self perception, was shattered and fractures and broken into pieces, not our TRUE SELF.

We are Spiritual Beings having a human experience. We are all here to learn and we are here to go through this process that is life. Finally we are here to feel these feelings. Doing our emotional and imprint healing allows us to feel clear about what what is in front of us instead of torturing ourselves by obsessively thinking, trying to figure out what is right and what is wrong.

Let us first look at some definitions before we continue, Obsessive thinking is an emotional defense and is a manifestations of codependancy. Being in our heads, thinking, fantasizing, ruminating, is a defense we adapted in childhood to help is disassociate from the emotional pain we were experiencing. It is not for our highest good because it keeps us focused on the future or the past, we miss out on being live today, in the NOW. It is not for our highest good because our attempts to ESCAPE unpleasant feelings causes us to generate more unpleasant feelings.

Worry which can be described as negative fantasizing, is a reaction to fear of the unknown which creates more fear, which creates more worry, which creates more fear and so on. This fear is a manifestation of codependancy, a distorted, magnified, virulent, mutated species of fear caused by the poisonous combination of a false Belief that being human is shameful with a polarized (black and white, right and wrong) perspective of life. This self perpetuating, self destructive type of obsessive thinking feeds not only on fear, but on shaming ourselves for feeling the fear!

Codependancy is a useless emotional defense system adapted by our egos to help us survive. The polarized perspective of life we were programmed with in early childhood from our environment and imprint creation as well as inherited imprints, causes us to be afraid of making a mistake, of doing life "wrong". At the core of our being, we feel unlovable and unworthy and we spend great amounts of Energy trying to keep our shameful defectiveness a secret. We feel that , if we were perfect like we "SHOULD" be, we would not feel fear and confusion and would have reached "happily ever after" by now. So, we shame ourselves for feeling fear, which adds gasoline to the inferno of fear that is driving us. The shame and fear that drive obsession becomes so painful and "crazy making" that at some point we have to find a way to shut down our minds for a little while - drugs, alcohol, food, sleep, shopping, television, sex, etc.

This is a very sad way to relate to life. The fear we are empowering is about the future, shame is about the past. We are not capable of being in the NOW and enjoying life because we are caught up in trauma melodramas about things which have not yet happened - or wallowing in orgies of self recrimination about the past, which can not be changed. Codependant behavior does not allow one to really live life in line with their Higher Self and shadows the Essence of the TRUE Self. IT is very important that these imprints be removed from the energetic field.

Obsessive thinking and compulsive behavior is caused by, and fed by, fear and shame. The feeling that the world will come to an end if____ doesn't happen, or that it has come to an end because ____ happened, is a feeling coming from the wounded child within and related imprints firing. It is the result of early childhood emotional trauma and the subconscious programming adapted by our egos to help us survive at a time when we were helpless and powerless.

An adult is not helpless and powerless. We are, however, powerless to know that, as long as we are UNCONSCIOUSLY reacting to repressed emotional energy and imprints and programming from the subconscious. It is impossible to see our self or life clearly when we are caught up in trauma dramas (internally and externally) that feel life threatening. It is our codependancy that we are in denial of our emotions at the same time we are allowing unconscious imprint programming and the feelings of the Inner Child to define and dictate our lives.

Removing the imprints, programming, beliefs and other energetic blockages will help a person take power away from the fear and shame that drives obsessive thinking. Learning to be companssionate in our relationship WITH OUR SELF by not shaming ourselves for being human beings, will help to take power away from the obsessive thinking.

Love is the answer to obsession but not the love of another person. Learning to be LOVING TO YOURSELF and remembering that there is a LOVING HIGHER POWER is the best way to stop obsessive thinking.


written by Nicole Lavoie
information from http://www.selfgrowth.com/

"17 Rules for a Better Way to Live"

Written by author Og Mandino.

Read and apply these rules and your life will change for the better!

Rule One
Count your blessings. Once you realize how valuable you are and how much you have going for you, the smiles will return, the sun will break out, the music will play, and you will finally be able to move forward the life that God intended for you... with grace, strength, courage, and confidence.

Rule Two
Today, and every day, deliver more than you are getting paid to do. The victory of success will be half won when you learn the secret of putting out more than is expected in all that you do. Make yourself so valuable in your work that eventually you will become indispensable. Exercise your privilege to go the extra mile, and enjoy all the rewards you receive. You deserve them!

Rule Three
Whenever you make a mistake or get knocked down by life, don't look back at it too long. Mistakes are life's way of teaching you. Your capacity for occasional blunders is inseparable from your capacity to reach your goals. No one wins them all, and your failures, when they happen, are just part of your growth. Shake off your blunders. How will you know your limits without an occasional failure? Never quit. Your turn will come.

Rule Four
Always reward your long hours of labor and toil in the very best way, surrounded by your family. Nurture their love carefully, remembering that your children need models, not critics, and your own progress will hasten when you constantly strive to present your best side to your children. And even if you have failed at all else in the eyes of the world, if you have a loving family, you are a success.

Rule Five
Build this day on a foundation of pleasant thoughts. Never fret at any imperfections that you fear may impede your progress. Remind yourself, as often as necessary, that you are a creature of God and have the power to achieve any dream by lifting up your thoughts. You can fly when you decide that you can. Never consider yourself defeat again. Let the vision in your heart be in your life's blueprint. Smile!

Rule Six
Let your actions always speak for you, but be forever on guard against the terrible traps of false pride and conceit that can halt your progress. The next time you are tempted to boast, just place your fist in a full pail of water, and when you remove it, the hole remaining will give you a correct measure of your importance.

Rule Seven
Each day is a special gift, and while life may not always be fair, you must never allow the pains, hurdles, and handicaps of the moment to poison your attitude and plans for yourself and your future. You can never win when you wear the ugly cloak of self-pity, and the sour sound of whining will certainly frighten away any opportunity for success. Never again. There is a better way.

Rule Eight
Never again clutter your days or nights with so many menial and unimportant things that you have no time to accept a real challenge when it comes along. This applies to play as well as work. A day merely survived is no cause for celebration. You are not here to fritter away your precious hours when you have the ability to accomplish so much by making a slight change in your routine. No more busy work. No more hiding from success. Leave time, leave space, to grow. Now. Now! Not tomorrow!

Rule Nine
Live this day as if it will be your last. Remember that you will only find "tomorrow" on the calendars of fools. Forget yesterday's defeats and ignore the problems of tomorrow. This is it. Doomsday. All you have. Make it the best day of your year. The saddest words you can ever utter are, "If I had my life to live over again..."Take the baton, now. Run with it! This is your day!

Rule Ten
Beginning today, treat everyone you meet, friend or foe, loved one or stranger, as if they were going to be dead at midnight. Extend to each person, no matter how trivial the contact, all the care and kindness and understanding and love that you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again.

Rule Eleven
Laugh at yourself and at life. Not in the spirit of derision or whining self- pity, but as a remedy, a miracle drug, that will ease your pain, cure your depression, and help you to put in perspective that seemingly terrible defeat and worry with laughter at your predicaments, thus freeing your mind to think clearly toward the solution that is certain to come. Never take yourself too seriously.

Rule Twelve
Never neglect the little things. Never skimp on that extra effort, that additional few minutes, that soft word of praise or thanks, that delivery of the very best that you can do. It does not matter what others think, it is of prime importance, however, what you think about you. You can never do your best, which should always be your trademark, if you are cutting corners and shirking responsibilities. You are special. Act it. Never neglect the little things.

Rule Thirteen
Welcome every morning with a smile. Look on the new day as another special gift from your Creator, another golden opportunity to complete what you were unable to finish yesterday. Be a self- starter. Let your first hour set the theme of success and positive action that is certain to echo through your entire day. Today will never happen again. Don't waste it with a false start or no start at all. You were not born to fail.

Rule Fourteen
You will achieve grand dreams, a day at a time, so set goals for each day -- not long and difficult projects, but chores that will take you, step by step, toward your rainbow. Write them down, if you must, but limit your list so that you won't have to drag today's undone matters into tomorrow. Remember that you cannot build your pyramid in twenty-four hours. Be patient. Never allow your day to become so cluttered that you neglect your most important goal -- to do the best you can, enjoy this day, and rest satisfied with what you have accomplished.

Rule Fifteen
Never allow anyone to rain on your parade and thus cast a pall of gloom and defeat on the entire day. Remember that no talent, no self-denial, no brains, no character, are required to set up in the fault-finding business. Nothing external can have any power over you unless you permit it. Your time is too precious to be sacrificed in wasted days combating the menial forces of hate, jealously, and envy. Guard your fragile life carefully. Only God can shape a flower, but any foolish child can pull it to pieces.

Rule Sixteen
Search for the seed of good in every adversity. Master that principle and you will own a precious shield that will guard you well through all the darkest valley you must traverse. Stars may be seen from the bottom of a deep well, when they cannot be discerned from the mountaintop. So will you learn things in adversity that you would never have discovered without trouble. There is always a seed of good. Find it and prosper.

Rule Seventeen
Realize that true happiness lies within you. Waste no time and effort searching for peace and contentment and joy in the world outside. Remember that there is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving. Reach out. Share. Smile. Hug. Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.