12 ways to be thankful

{Cicero said that "gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others."
The English preacher John Henry Jowett wrote that "every virtue divorced from thankfulness is maimed and limps along the spiritual road."
And according to Aseop Fables, "gratitude is the sign of noble souls."
I don't feel like I'm persistent enough with gratitude. It has only been with much work and lots of practice that I have been able to cultivate gratitude and be genuinely thankful (most days)

Here are 12 techniques I have read about to help me get to the parent of all virtues.

1. See with the heart.
A favoured quote is from Antoine de Saint-Exupery's "The Little Prince":
"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye."
Every time I throw myself into a tizzy because things aren't going as expected, I have to remind myself that I'm looking with the wrong instruments: I need to go back and tell my heart to get some guts and speak up to my head because it's starting to listen to my eyes again.
Writes Rabbi Harold Kushner: "Can you see the holiness in those things you take for granted--a paved road or a washing machine? If you concentrate on finding what is good in every situation, you will discover that your life will suddenly be filled with gratitude, a feeling that nurtures the soul."

2. Change your language.
Learning how to see with the heart--shifting perspectives ever so slightly--is easier once you learn how to talk to yourself and to others. "Just as changing your life can change your language, changing your language can change your life." -- Dan Baker
I do a lot of self-bashing, and when I'm in the middle of a rant, I'm not able to be thankful.
Some recent research has actually proved that: it's impossible to be simultaneously in a state of appreciation and fear, which is why gratitude and appreciation are antidotes to fear. Moreover, the words I speak to myself and to others really do alter my perception of the world. But when I can recognize the toxic self-talk and change my choice of words, the seeds of gratitude can grow.

3. Get a gratitude partner.
Shifting perspectives--seeing that the cup you thought had one teensy drop is actually two-thirds full--and communicating with new language takes time, discipline, and practice. Just like working out. So it makes sense that a gratitude buddy might help you stay in line: someone to help bolster their self-esteem and to keep them accountable to the necessary footwork required to stay positive, as well as act as a sounding board for the negative intrusive thoughts that can disable them.

4. Remember.
"Gratitude is the heart's memory" says the French proverb.
Therefore, one of the first steps to thankfulness is to remember... to remember those in our lives who have walked with us and shown kindness. I have been extremely fortunate to have so many positive mentors in my life.
For every scary crossroad--when I was tempted to take a destructive path and walk further away from the person whom I believe I was meant to become--a gracious"guardian" or "messenger" seemed to appear, to lead me out of the perilous forest.
I think of my mother often in difficult times and feel her strength move through me.
Gratitude can do more than make you smile. Research conducted has found that it can also improve your health: raise energy levels, promote alertness and determination, improve sleep, and possibly relieve pain and fatigue. Writing in a gratitude journal a few times a week can create lasting effects.
Write about things you feet grateful about, jot down things you find annoying, write about things that have had a major impact on you.
You will see a positive effect on hours of sleep and on time spent exercising, on more optimistic expectations for the future. An increase in connectedness to other people and in likelihood of helping another person deal with a personal problem.

6. Write a thank you letter.
Another gratitude exercise is to compose a "gratitude letter" to a person who has made a positive and lasting influence in your life. These letters are especially powerful when you have not properly thanked the person in the past, and when you read the letter aloud to the person face to face.
"When a person doesn't have gratitude, something is missing in his or her humanity. A person can almost be defined by his or her attitude toward gratitude."

7. Make a gratitude visit.
Some encourage folks to read their letters aloud in person. Some like to go free style (just show up, and tell people what a difference in my life they have made, that I hope that they know how lucky they are to be touching people's lives, to be sure to thank others in return).

8. Start a gratitude club.
This sounds like an idea for those with, well, lots of time on their hands. But I'm only suggesting it because it works. When my mother passed away, I joined a grief group and it helped me immensely in staying positive and getting through the hard time of adjustment.
It can create a dramatic impact when members bring a guest who had been important in their lives but whom they hadn't thanked properly. Each member of the class presents a testimonial about the person and thank them.
"We do not have a vehicle in our culture for telling the people who mean the most to us how thankful we are that they are on the planet." -- Martin Seligman

9. Acknowledge yourself.
Most published books include a page or two of acknowledgments, where the author cites all the persons who helped shepherd their book to production. Most people do forget a very important figure: themselves. Which is why I think a healthy activity is to write a page of acknowledgements to yourself.
Mine would go something like this:
And I thank you, Self, for doing all that you do to try and keep me healthy: for buying healthy food instead of the junk you crave; for exercising four to five times a week; for enjoying the little things in life; for trying every day to be the best you can be; for taking vitamins; for trying your best to keep in touch with all of your loved one; for trying your best at good sleep hygiene; and for laughing at stupid stuff whenever possible, because I say that it's better than crying......

10. Accept a gift.
Sometimes gratitude is hard because we don't think we're worthy of the gifts bestowed on us.
"When we do not feel that we are worthy of happiness, we cannot possibly feel worthy of the good things in our lives, the things that bring us happiness." --Tal Ben-Shahar
One of the hardest acts of gratitude is to graciously accept a gift, to believe in the goodness of the person who gave it to us, and to believe in ourselves enough to receive it.

11. Pray.
"If the only prayer you say in your life is 'thank you,' that would suffice," wrote Meister Eckhart. Take in the beauty of life with a grateful heart.
The term "gratitude" comes from the Latin word for grace ("gratio").
"maybe that's one reason we worship--to respond to grace. We praise God not to celebrate our own faith but to give thanks for the faith God has in us." --Kathleen Norris

12. Give back.
Sometimes it is hard to come up with a way of repaying someone for all their encouragement and support. How can we match their kindness?
Here's a plan: help someone who falls into your path in the same way that they helped you. Try to help and inspire this lost person--try to guide them to a source of love and self-acceptance--just as they have done for you.
Giving back doesn't mean reciprocating favors so that everything is fair and the tally is even. That's the beauty of giving. If someone does an act of kindness for you, one way to say thanks is to do the same for another.
Continue the chain of support. It's the best way to give back what people have given to you.}

It's all about YOU

Accept the fact that you are a unique individual with a place to occupy and a special purpose to fulfill.

Remember that you are endowed with the ability to choose and the potential power to accomplish everything you desire.

"Don't allow others to upset your day. If someone is rude or abusive towards you, try to understand the pain or fear they are feeling and try to help them through it without letting yourself accept the blame. Give them comfort if they need it, but don't allow them to use you as a scapegoat for their feelings."

Master time instead of letting it master you

What is the difference between effective time management and wasting time ?

Plan what you need to do - that is the easy part.

Work out what needs to be done to make that plan work.

Have a genuine desire to achieve your goals, then work every day to complete them.

Write out a schedule.

Practice.

Be determined.

Get yourself in the habit.

Distractions will come, but work hard to stay on track.

~ ~ ~ *** ~ ~ ~ *** ~ ~ ~ *** ~ ~ ~

Would you rather speak to a complainer or a whiner?

Personally, I am not sure which I prefer since both drain my energy.

I am sure you know some people who fall into the category of whiners and complainers. They complain about everything. They can’t find anything good about anything.

When they begin to talk, you try to hold onto your sense of compassion and empathy, but you slowly lose it.

One of my relatives is like this—complain, whine, and complain. When she talks, I think of a placard I have in my office that reads, “Now that’s ten minutes of my life I will never get back again.”

These people are “Time Vampires” — they suck the time from you.

So what do you do about these Time Vampires?

You may have thought that driving a wooden stake through the heart would be a good way to deal with the vampire, but you probably couldn’t get away with that. And you can’t walk
around wearing a garlic necklace (even if you swear you’ll never go out again and you’ll only socialize through Twitter and Facebook, eventually you’ll have to leave your house and you’ll stink to high heaven).

So you have to try a more socially acceptable approach. To manage the Time Vampire, limit your contact with him/her. Minimize all forms of communication—phone, texting, e-mailing
and socializing. Set some boundaries when you converse with him/her. Ask questions to keep the time vampire on track.

If you are speaking to a complainer/whiner at a social gathering, get other people involved so you can slowly withdraw from the conversation. Some of you may think this is harsh, but it isn’t if you want to maintain your sanity.

For those of you who want to help and make a difference in the life of a complainer/whiner (this is the category I fall into), ask if the complaints are about things or people that they can
change. Often the complaining and whining concern things over which they have no control. If this is the case, encourage acceptance of the situation as it is.

Ask the complainer/whiner to list five things they are happy about, five things they are grateful to have in their life, or even five people they enjoy in their life. Stay focused on
things they enjoy. You may not be able to change them from complainers to non-complainers, but at least you can begin to have a decent conversation.

(Dr. Michael Kaye)

“If you have time to whine and complain about something then you have the time to do something about it.” ~Anthony J. D'Angelo

Learn to see happiness in everything

Breathing deeply

Breakfast in bed with something good to read

Putting together your own quotation book

Getting along well with others

A beautiful sunrise on a misty morning

Reading outside in your yard with a soft comfortable blanket

Treating yourself to a massage

Being so proud of yourself you could burst

A sunny place set up for lunch

Low Self-Esteem

What is self-esteem?

It is the opinion you have of yourself.

I had very low self-esteem for many years. I did not like myself. I had a very poor self-image. This was due to negative thoughts, and events in my life. I did not stand up for myself. I believed what others said about me. I let myself drown into a world of sadness and depression. I felt helpless and worthless. I did not smile easily. I avoided people, and pushed anyone close to me away. I was tired all the time. I constantly wondered why I was the way I was. I lied.

"You are the master of your own destiny" -- steve moore

"Make a point of connecting with someone new every day. And reacquaint yourself with anyone you have not spoken to for some time by going through your address book." -- roy sheppard

It took me years of researching and learning to build my self-esteem. Lots of books, and therapy. Yoga and mediatation. Meeting and talking with others who have gone through similar things. Deciding to be happy and not let things get the better of me. Promising to stay healthy and enjoy life. Life is short. We should not waste a moment of it being negative or sad. Things happen that make us unhappy, but we get over them and move on. You are the one person who you have to live with for the rest of your life. Please enjoy the company of yourself. Work a little bit each day on something that you want to change. Eventually things will get better. You will get stronger. Believe in yourself. Use positive affirmations.

Reach out to someone. There are lots of people who can help, if you need some.

Choose to be who you want to be.