Appreciation in Action

Column By Mike Robbins
-----------------------
It's not what we know it's what we do that matters!


Many of us have brilliant ideas and/or learn amazing new concepts all the time. However, until we put these insights into action they have no impact on our lives. Appreciation
is often one of these "insights."


Most of us know how important it is to appreciate ourselves and others, and to live with an attitude of gratitude. However, knowing about the importance of appreciation and
acting in an appreciative way are two totally different things.


Here are a few simple and powerful actions you can take on a regular basis to increase your personal level of appreciation and that of those around you:


5 Simple Acts of Appreciation:


1) Write heartfelt thank you notes: In today's fast-paced world of email, cell phones, instant messages, and more, the power of a hand-written, thank you note is immeasurable.


Each week pick out at least one person in your life you would like to acknowledge. Sit down and write a heartfelt thank you note to that person and send it to them in the
mail -- yes, the "snail mail." See how they respond. They will love it and so will you.


One week, write the note to yourself and send it in the mail to your home. You will not believe how good it feels to get that card in the mail.


2) Use a "gratitude" journal: A gratitude journal is a place where you write down things that you are grateful for, what you are proud of, and all the positive stuff that is happening in your life.


This journal is a safe place for you to express your gratitude, about yourself and your life, on a regular basis.
Regardless of our circumstances, there are always things to be grateful for. And, the more attention we focus on being grateful, the more we have to be grateful for. It is amazing how this works.


3) Compliment people: Make a commitment to go out of your way to "catch people doing things right" and let them know about it. We always find what we look for and if we look for the greatness in others, we will find it.


Once we find that greatness, we then have a choice about whether or not to share it with them. It sometimes takes courage on our part, but when we acknowledge other people (in a genuine way), not only do we create a win-win situation; we actually encourage more of the behavior, attitudes, and/or attributes that we appreciate in them.


4) When people compliment you, say "thank you" and then shut your mouth: The irony about appreciation is that most of us are starving for it and many of us are horrible at accepting it.


The best example of this is how awkward and weird people often get when they are complimented. Even if you feel funny or uncomfortable when people compliment you, simply say "thank you" and then shut up.


Whatever you say after that (a self-deprecating joke, a quick complimentary response, etc.) is often a way of avoiding the appreciation and/or deflecting the compliment.


Just like a birthday present, say "thank you" and accept the gift (compliment) that is being giving to you. The better you become at receiving compliments, the more you will get.


5) Start and end meetings with appreciation: When you get together with other people for a business meeting, a family dinner, an informal gathering, a team session, or anything else, one of the best things you can do is to start and end the meeting with appreciation.


At the beginning, have people talk for a few minutes about what is working, what is going well, and what they are excited or happy about. This starts the meeting off on a positive note. At the end, take a few minutes for acknowledgments. Allow people to compliment each other, thank one another, point out strengths, and focus on what is being accomplished.


Starting and ending meetings with appreciation makes everyone feel better about themselves, the work that is being done, and about the group as a whole.


These are just a few simple examples of the many actions we can take to increase our personal level of appreciation and that of the people around us. Now the million-dollar question is, what will you actually do?

12 ways to be thankful

{Cicero said that "gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others."
The English preacher John Henry Jowett wrote that "every virtue divorced from thankfulness is maimed and limps along the spiritual road."
And according to Aseop Fables, "gratitude is the sign of noble souls."
I don't feel like I'm persistent enough with gratitude. It has only been with much work and lots of practice that I have been able to cultivate gratitude and be genuinely thankful (most days)

Here are 12 techniques I have read about to help me get to the parent of all virtues.

1. See with the heart.
A favoured quote is from Antoine de Saint-Exupery's "The Little Prince":
"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye."
Every time I throw myself into a tizzy because things aren't going as expected, I have to remind myself that I'm looking with the wrong instruments: I need to go back and tell my heart to get some guts and speak up to my head because it's starting to listen to my eyes again.
Writes Rabbi Harold Kushner: "Can you see the holiness in those things you take for granted--a paved road or a washing machine? If you concentrate on finding what is good in every situation, you will discover that your life will suddenly be filled with gratitude, a feeling that nurtures the soul."

2. Change your language.
Learning how to see with the heart--shifting perspectives ever so slightly--is easier once you learn how to talk to yourself and to others. "Just as changing your life can change your language, changing your language can change your life." -- Dan Baker
I do a lot of self-bashing, and when I'm in the middle of a rant, I'm not able to be thankful.
Some recent research has actually proved that: it's impossible to be simultaneously in a state of appreciation and fear, which is why gratitude and appreciation are antidotes to fear. Moreover, the words I speak to myself and to others really do alter my perception of the world. But when I can recognize the toxic self-talk and change my choice of words, the seeds of gratitude can grow.

3. Get a gratitude partner.
Shifting perspectives--seeing that the cup you thought had one teensy drop is actually two-thirds full--and communicating with new language takes time, discipline, and practice. Just like working out. So it makes sense that a gratitude buddy might help you stay in line: someone to help bolster their self-esteem and to keep them accountable to the necessary footwork required to stay positive, as well as act as a sounding board for the negative intrusive thoughts that can disable them.

4. Remember.
"Gratitude is the heart's memory" says the French proverb.
Therefore, one of the first steps to thankfulness is to remember... to remember those in our lives who have walked with us and shown kindness. I have been extremely fortunate to have so many positive mentors in my life.
For every scary crossroad--when I was tempted to take a destructive path and walk further away from the person whom I believe I was meant to become--a gracious"guardian" or "messenger" seemed to appear, to lead me out of the perilous forest.
I think of my mother often in difficult times and feel her strength move through me.
Gratitude can do more than make you smile. Research conducted has found that it can also improve your health: raise energy levels, promote alertness and determination, improve sleep, and possibly relieve pain and fatigue. Writing in a gratitude journal a few times a week can create lasting effects.
Write about things you feet grateful about, jot down things you find annoying, write about things that have had a major impact on you.
You will see a positive effect on hours of sleep and on time spent exercising, on more optimistic expectations for the future. An increase in connectedness to other people and in likelihood of helping another person deal with a personal problem.

6. Write a thank you letter.
Another gratitude exercise is to compose a "gratitude letter" to a person who has made a positive and lasting influence in your life. These letters are especially powerful when you have not properly thanked the person in the past, and when you read the letter aloud to the person face to face.
"When a person doesn't have gratitude, something is missing in his or her humanity. A person can almost be defined by his or her attitude toward gratitude."

7. Make a gratitude visit.
Some encourage folks to read their letters aloud in person. Some like to go free style (just show up, and tell people what a difference in my life they have made, that I hope that they know how lucky they are to be touching people's lives, to be sure to thank others in return).

8. Start a gratitude club.
This sounds like an idea for those with, well, lots of time on their hands. But I'm only suggesting it because it works. When my mother passed away, I joined a grief group and it helped me immensely in staying positive and getting through the hard time of adjustment.
It can create a dramatic impact when members bring a guest who had been important in their lives but whom they hadn't thanked properly. Each member of the class presents a testimonial about the person and thank them.
"We do not have a vehicle in our culture for telling the people who mean the most to us how thankful we are that they are on the planet." -- Martin Seligman

9. Acknowledge yourself.
Most published books include a page or two of acknowledgments, where the author cites all the persons who helped shepherd their book to production. Most people do forget a very important figure: themselves. Which is why I think a healthy activity is to write a page of acknowledgements to yourself.
Mine would go something like this:
And I thank you, Self, for doing all that you do to try and keep me healthy: for buying healthy food instead of the junk you crave; for exercising four to five times a week; for enjoying the little things in life; for trying every day to be the best you can be; for taking vitamins; for trying your best to keep in touch with all of your loved one; for trying your best at good sleep hygiene; and for laughing at stupid stuff whenever possible, because I say that it's better than crying......

10. Accept a gift.
Sometimes gratitude is hard because we don't think we're worthy of the gifts bestowed on us.
"When we do not feel that we are worthy of happiness, we cannot possibly feel worthy of the good things in our lives, the things that bring us happiness." --Tal Ben-Shahar
One of the hardest acts of gratitude is to graciously accept a gift, to believe in the goodness of the person who gave it to us, and to believe in ourselves enough to receive it.

11. Pray.
"If the only prayer you say in your life is 'thank you,' that would suffice," wrote Meister Eckhart. Take in the beauty of life with a grateful heart.
The term "gratitude" comes from the Latin word for grace ("gratio").
"maybe that's one reason we worship--to respond to grace. We praise God not to celebrate our own faith but to give thanks for the faith God has in us." --Kathleen Norris

12. Give back.
Sometimes it is hard to come up with a way of repaying someone for all their encouragement and support. How can we match their kindness?
Here's a plan: help someone who falls into your path in the same way that they helped you. Try to help and inspire this lost person--try to guide them to a source of love and self-acceptance--just as they have done for you.
Giving back doesn't mean reciprocating favors so that everything is fair and the tally is even. That's the beauty of giving. If someone does an act of kindness for you, one way to say thanks is to do the same for another.
Continue the chain of support. It's the best way to give back what people have given to you.}

Learn to see happiness in everything

Breathing deeply

Breakfast in bed with something good to read

Putting together your own quotation book

Getting along well with others

A beautiful sunrise on a misty morning

Reading outside in your yard with a soft comfortable blanket

Treating yourself to a massage

Being so proud of yourself you could burst

A sunny place set up for lunch