"17 Rules for a Better Way to Live"

Written by author Og Mandino.

Read and apply these rules and your life will change for the better!

Rule One
Count your blessings. Once you realize how valuable you are and how much you have going for you, the smiles will return, the sun will break out, the music will play, and you will finally be able to move forward the life that God intended for you... with grace, strength, courage, and confidence.

Rule Two
Today, and every day, deliver more than you are getting paid to do. The victory of success will be half won when you learn the secret of putting out more than is expected in all that you do. Make yourself so valuable in your work that eventually you will become indispensable. Exercise your privilege to go the extra mile, and enjoy all the rewards you receive. You deserve them!

Rule Three
Whenever you make a mistake or get knocked down by life, don't look back at it too long. Mistakes are life's way of teaching you. Your capacity for occasional blunders is inseparable from your capacity to reach your goals. No one wins them all, and your failures, when they happen, are just part of your growth. Shake off your blunders. How will you know your limits without an occasional failure? Never quit. Your turn will come.

Rule Four
Always reward your long hours of labor and toil in the very best way, surrounded by your family. Nurture their love carefully, remembering that your children need models, not critics, and your own progress will hasten when you constantly strive to present your best side to your children. And even if you have failed at all else in the eyes of the world, if you have a loving family, you are a success.

Rule Five
Build this day on a foundation of pleasant thoughts. Never fret at any imperfections that you fear may impede your progress. Remind yourself, as often as necessary, that you are a creature of God and have the power to achieve any dream by lifting up your thoughts. You can fly when you decide that you can. Never consider yourself defeat again. Let the vision in your heart be in your life's blueprint. Smile!

Rule Six
Let your actions always speak for you, but be forever on guard against the terrible traps of false pride and conceit that can halt your progress. The next time you are tempted to boast, just place your fist in a full pail of water, and when you remove it, the hole remaining will give you a correct measure of your importance.

Rule Seven
Each day is a special gift, and while life may not always be fair, you must never allow the pains, hurdles, and handicaps of the moment to poison your attitude and plans for yourself and your future. You can never win when you wear the ugly cloak of self-pity, and the sour sound of whining will certainly frighten away any opportunity for success. Never again. There is a better way.

Rule Eight
Never again clutter your days or nights with so many menial and unimportant things that you have no time to accept a real challenge when it comes along. This applies to play as well as work. A day merely survived is no cause for celebration. You are not here to fritter away your precious hours when you have the ability to accomplish so much by making a slight change in your routine. No more busy work. No more hiding from success. Leave time, leave space, to grow. Now. Now! Not tomorrow!

Rule Nine
Live this day as if it will be your last. Remember that you will only find "tomorrow" on the calendars of fools. Forget yesterday's defeats and ignore the problems of tomorrow. This is it. Doomsday. All you have. Make it the best day of your year. The saddest words you can ever utter are, "If I had my life to live over again..."Take the baton, now. Run with it! This is your day!

Rule Ten
Beginning today, treat everyone you meet, friend or foe, loved one or stranger, as if they were going to be dead at midnight. Extend to each person, no matter how trivial the contact, all the care and kindness and understanding and love that you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again.

Rule Eleven
Laugh at yourself and at life. Not in the spirit of derision or whining self- pity, but as a remedy, a miracle drug, that will ease your pain, cure your depression, and help you to put in perspective that seemingly terrible defeat and worry with laughter at your predicaments, thus freeing your mind to think clearly toward the solution that is certain to come. Never take yourself too seriously.

Rule Twelve
Never neglect the little things. Never skimp on that extra effort, that additional few minutes, that soft word of praise or thanks, that delivery of the very best that you can do. It does not matter what others think, it is of prime importance, however, what you think about you. You can never do your best, which should always be your trademark, if you are cutting corners and shirking responsibilities. You are special. Act it. Never neglect the little things.

Rule Thirteen
Welcome every morning with a smile. Look on the new day as another special gift from your Creator, another golden opportunity to complete what you were unable to finish yesterday. Be a self- starter. Let your first hour set the theme of success and positive action that is certain to echo through your entire day. Today will never happen again. Don't waste it with a false start or no start at all. You were not born to fail.

Rule Fourteen
You will achieve grand dreams, a day at a time, so set goals for each day -- not long and difficult projects, but chores that will take you, step by step, toward your rainbow. Write them down, if you must, but limit your list so that you won't have to drag today's undone matters into tomorrow. Remember that you cannot build your pyramid in twenty-four hours. Be patient. Never allow your day to become so cluttered that you neglect your most important goal -- to do the best you can, enjoy this day, and rest satisfied with what you have accomplished.

Rule Fifteen
Never allow anyone to rain on your parade and thus cast a pall of gloom and defeat on the entire day. Remember that no talent, no self-denial, no brains, no character, are required to set up in the fault-finding business. Nothing external can have any power over you unless you permit it. Your time is too precious to be sacrificed in wasted days combating the menial forces of hate, jealously, and envy. Guard your fragile life carefully. Only God can shape a flower, but any foolish child can pull it to pieces.

Rule Sixteen
Search for the seed of good in every adversity. Master that principle and you will own a precious shield that will guard you well through all the darkest valley you must traverse. Stars may be seen from the bottom of a deep well, when they cannot be discerned from the mountaintop. So will you learn things in adversity that you would never have discovered without trouble. There is always a seed of good. Find it and prosper.

Rule Seventeen
Realize that true happiness lies within you. Waste no time and effort searching for peace and contentment and joy in the world outside. Remember that there is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving. Reach out. Share. Smile. Hug. Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.

A B C's

Accept differences

Be kind

Count your blessings

Dream

Express thanks

Forgive

Give freely

Harm no one

Imagine more

Jettison anger

Keep confidences

Love truly

Master something

Nurture hope

Open your mind

Pack lightly

Quell rumours

Reciprocate

Seek wisdom

Touch hearts

Understand

Value truth

Win graciously

Xeriscape

Yearn for peace

Zealously support a worthy cause

12 ways to be thankful

{Cicero said that "gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others."
The English preacher John Henry Jowett wrote that "every virtue divorced from thankfulness is maimed and limps along the spiritual road."
And according to Aseop Fables, "gratitude is the sign of noble souls."
I don't feel like I'm persistent enough with gratitude. It has only been with much work and lots of practice that I have been able to cultivate gratitude and be genuinely thankful (most days)

Here are 12 techniques I have read about to help me get to the parent of all virtues.

1. See with the heart.
A favoured quote is from Antoine de Saint-Exupery's "The Little Prince":
"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye."
Every time I throw myself into a tizzy because things aren't going as expected, I have to remind myself that I'm looking with the wrong instruments: I need to go back and tell my heart to get some guts and speak up to my head because it's starting to listen to my eyes again.
Writes Rabbi Harold Kushner: "Can you see the holiness in those things you take for granted--a paved road or a washing machine? If you concentrate on finding what is good in every situation, you will discover that your life will suddenly be filled with gratitude, a feeling that nurtures the soul."

2. Change your language.
Learning how to see with the heart--shifting perspectives ever so slightly--is easier once you learn how to talk to yourself and to others. "Just as changing your life can change your language, changing your language can change your life." -- Dan Baker
I do a lot of self-bashing, and when I'm in the middle of a rant, I'm not able to be thankful.
Some recent research has actually proved that: it's impossible to be simultaneously in a state of appreciation and fear, which is why gratitude and appreciation are antidotes to fear. Moreover, the words I speak to myself and to others really do alter my perception of the world. But when I can recognize the toxic self-talk and change my choice of words, the seeds of gratitude can grow.

3. Get a gratitude partner.
Shifting perspectives--seeing that the cup you thought had one teensy drop is actually two-thirds full--and communicating with new language takes time, discipline, and practice. Just like working out. So it makes sense that a gratitude buddy might help you stay in line: someone to help bolster their self-esteem and to keep them accountable to the necessary footwork required to stay positive, as well as act as a sounding board for the negative intrusive thoughts that can disable them.

4. Remember.
"Gratitude is the heart's memory" says the French proverb.
Therefore, one of the first steps to thankfulness is to remember... to remember those in our lives who have walked with us and shown kindness. I have been extremely fortunate to have so many positive mentors in my life.
For every scary crossroad--when I was tempted to take a destructive path and walk further away from the person whom I believe I was meant to become--a gracious"guardian" or "messenger" seemed to appear, to lead me out of the perilous forest.
I think of my mother often in difficult times and feel her strength move through me.
Gratitude can do more than make you smile. Research conducted has found that it can also improve your health: raise energy levels, promote alertness and determination, improve sleep, and possibly relieve pain and fatigue. Writing in a gratitude journal a few times a week can create lasting effects.
Write about things you feet grateful about, jot down things you find annoying, write about things that have had a major impact on you.
You will see a positive effect on hours of sleep and on time spent exercising, on more optimistic expectations for the future. An increase in connectedness to other people and in likelihood of helping another person deal with a personal problem.

6. Write a thank you letter.
Another gratitude exercise is to compose a "gratitude letter" to a person who has made a positive and lasting influence in your life. These letters are especially powerful when you have not properly thanked the person in the past, and when you read the letter aloud to the person face to face.
"When a person doesn't have gratitude, something is missing in his or her humanity. A person can almost be defined by his or her attitude toward gratitude."

7. Make a gratitude visit.
Some encourage folks to read their letters aloud in person. Some like to go free style (just show up, and tell people what a difference in my life they have made, that I hope that they know how lucky they are to be touching people's lives, to be sure to thank others in return).

8. Start a gratitude club.
This sounds like an idea for those with, well, lots of time on their hands. But I'm only suggesting it because it works. When my mother passed away, I joined a grief group and it helped me immensely in staying positive and getting through the hard time of adjustment.
It can create a dramatic impact when members bring a guest who had been important in their lives but whom they hadn't thanked properly. Each member of the class presents a testimonial about the person and thank them.
"We do not have a vehicle in our culture for telling the people who mean the most to us how thankful we are that they are on the planet." -- Martin Seligman

9. Acknowledge yourself.
Most published books include a page or two of acknowledgments, where the author cites all the persons who helped shepherd their book to production. Most people do forget a very important figure: themselves. Which is why I think a healthy activity is to write a page of acknowledgements to yourself.
Mine would go something like this:
And I thank you, Self, for doing all that you do to try and keep me healthy: for buying healthy food instead of the junk you crave; for exercising four to five times a week; for enjoying the little things in life; for trying every day to be the best you can be; for taking vitamins; for trying your best to keep in touch with all of your loved one; for trying your best at good sleep hygiene; and for laughing at stupid stuff whenever possible, because I say that it's better than crying......

10. Accept a gift.
Sometimes gratitude is hard because we don't think we're worthy of the gifts bestowed on us.
"When we do not feel that we are worthy of happiness, we cannot possibly feel worthy of the good things in our lives, the things that bring us happiness." --Tal Ben-Shahar
One of the hardest acts of gratitude is to graciously accept a gift, to believe in the goodness of the person who gave it to us, and to believe in ourselves enough to receive it.

11. Pray.
"If the only prayer you say in your life is 'thank you,' that would suffice," wrote Meister Eckhart. Take in the beauty of life with a grateful heart.
The term "gratitude" comes from the Latin word for grace ("gratio").
"maybe that's one reason we worship--to respond to grace. We praise God not to celebrate our own faith but to give thanks for the faith God has in us." --Kathleen Norris

12. Give back.
Sometimes it is hard to come up with a way of repaying someone for all their encouragement and support. How can we match their kindness?
Here's a plan: help someone who falls into your path in the same way that they helped you. Try to help and inspire this lost person--try to guide them to a source of love and self-acceptance--just as they have done for you.
Giving back doesn't mean reciprocating favors so that everything is fair and the tally is even. That's the beauty of giving. If someone does an act of kindness for you, one way to say thanks is to do the same for another.
Continue the chain of support. It's the best way to give back what people have given to you.}

It's all about YOU

Accept the fact that you are a unique individual with a place to occupy and a special purpose to fulfill.

Remember that you are endowed with the ability to choose and the potential power to accomplish everything you desire.

"Don't allow others to upset your day. If someone is rude or abusive towards you, try to understand the pain or fear they are feeling and try to help them through it without letting yourself accept the blame. Give them comfort if they need it, but don't allow them to use you as a scapegoat for their feelings."

Master time instead of letting it master you

What is the difference between effective time management and wasting time ?

Plan what you need to do - that is the easy part.

Work out what needs to be done to make that plan work.

Have a genuine desire to achieve your goals, then work every day to complete them.

Write out a schedule.

Practice.

Be determined.

Get yourself in the habit.

Distractions will come, but work hard to stay on track.

~ ~ ~ *** ~ ~ ~ *** ~ ~ ~ *** ~ ~ ~

Would you rather speak to a complainer or a whiner?

Personally, I am not sure which I prefer since both drain my energy.

I am sure you know some people who fall into the category of whiners and complainers. They complain about everything. They can’t find anything good about anything.

When they begin to talk, you try to hold onto your sense of compassion and empathy, but you slowly lose it.

One of my relatives is like this—complain, whine, and complain. When she talks, I think of a placard I have in my office that reads, “Now that’s ten minutes of my life I will never get back again.”

These people are “Time Vampires” — they suck the time from you.

So what do you do about these Time Vampires?

You may have thought that driving a wooden stake through the heart would be a good way to deal with the vampire, but you probably couldn’t get away with that. And you can’t walk
around wearing a garlic necklace (even if you swear you’ll never go out again and you’ll only socialize through Twitter and Facebook, eventually you’ll have to leave your house and you’ll stink to high heaven).

So you have to try a more socially acceptable approach. To manage the Time Vampire, limit your contact with him/her. Minimize all forms of communication—phone, texting, e-mailing
and socializing. Set some boundaries when you converse with him/her. Ask questions to keep the time vampire on track.

If you are speaking to a complainer/whiner at a social gathering, get other people involved so you can slowly withdraw from the conversation. Some of you may think this is harsh, but it isn’t if you want to maintain your sanity.

For those of you who want to help and make a difference in the life of a complainer/whiner (this is the category I fall into), ask if the complaints are about things or people that they can
change. Often the complaining and whining concern things over which they have no control. If this is the case, encourage acceptance of the situation as it is.

Ask the complainer/whiner to list five things they are happy about, five things they are grateful to have in their life, or even five people they enjoy in their life. Stay focused on
things they enjoy. You may not be able to change them from complainers to non-complainers, but at least you can begin to have a decent conversation.

(Dr. Michael Kaye)

“If you have time to whine and complain about something then you have the time to do something about it.” ~Anthony J. D'Angelo

Learn to see happiness in everything

Breathing deeply

Breakfast in bed with something good to read

Putting together your own quotation book

Getting along well with others

A beautiful sunrise on a misty morning

Reading outside in your yard with a soft comfortable blanket

Treating yourself to a massage

Being so proud of yourself you could burst

A sunny place set up for lunch

Low Self-Esteem

What is self-esteem?

It is the opinion you have of yourself.

I had very low self-esteem for many years. I did not like myself. I had a very poor self-image. This was due to negative thoughts, and events in my life. I did not stand up for myself. I believed what others said about me. I let myself drown into a world of sadness and depression. I felt helpless and worthless. I did not smile easily. I avoided people, and pushed anyone close to me away. I was tired all the time. I constantly wondered why I was the way I was. I lied.

"You are the master of your own destiny" -- steve moore

"Make a point of connecting with someone new every day. And reacquaint yourself with anyone you have not spoken to for some time by going through your address book." -- roy sheppard

It took me years of researching and learning to build my self-esteem. Lots of books, and therapy. Yoga and mediatation. Meeting and talking with others who have gone through similar things. Deciding to be happy and not let things get the better of me. Promising to stay healthy and enjoy life. Life is short. We should not waste a moment of it being negative or sad. Things happen that make us unhappy, but we get over them and move on. You are the one person who you have to live with for the rest of your life. Please enjoy the company of yourself. Work a little bit each day on something that you want to change. Eventually things will get better. You will get stronger. Believe in yourself. Use positive affirmations.

Reach out to someone. There are lots of people who can help, if you need some.

Choose to be who you want to be.